Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Toilet Paper Haters Club (TPHC) ❯ Don't Crack Your Coconut! ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: I still don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or anything associated with it, my muse still owns the TPHC, I don't own Charmin (like I've plainly stated before), nor do I own Limburger/rotten cheese, weddings, ministers, anything related to holy matrimony, furbies (thank goodness), waffles, flame throwers, "Marriage for Bakas" (though I've yet to see it), pixie sticks, or pretty much anything aside from Jim the Coconut. ^^

Author's Note: As you can tell from the above disclaimer, there is to be a wedding involved. Hope you enjoy this. ^^ We also have a special guest joining us in this chapter.

Chapter 5: Jim the Coconut Weds!

Neko, having finished her hotdog filled initiation, was admitted to the club. She was dubbed the club Secretary.

~*~

Hiei: Okay, now which one of you will go next?

~*~

Cristy, a demon equal in height to Hiei, was the next in line. She had long black hair with two red streaks located in the front and had red eyes. She crossed her arms in front of her.

~*~

Cristy: I'll go next.

Yoko Kurama: We shall seek counsel from our wise friend Jim. *looks to coconut sitting atop the discarded drink cup*

Jim the Coconut: *silence*

~*~

While the group watched Jim, music filled the back ground. You could almost see love in Jim the coconut's non-existent eyes. Hearts seemed to be fluttering around him. He was watching Cristy very closely.

~*~

Hiei: *prods Jim with a stick* Jim? Can she be the next one to try?

Jim the Coconut: *utter, yet love filled silence*

Yoko Kurama: It would seem Jim more than approves of this woman. He wishes to make her his bride!

~*~

The group watches as Jim rolls lightly off the drink cup and stopped at her foot. His "face" was turned up to her as though looking at her.

~*~

Yoko Kurama: Jim says that he has loved you ever since he first laid eyes on you.

Jim the Coconut: *romantic silence*

Cristy: *sweatdrops* You've got to be kidding me.

Hiei: Are you refusing him?? *has drawn his katana*

Cristy: No, no, I'm just saying that I cannot love a coconut!

Jim the Coconut: *awkward silence*

Yoko Kurama: Do you accept his proposal?

Cristy: *stutters* P-proposal?

Yoko Kurama: *nods and pulls a small ring from Jim's duct taped back side, which looks oddly similar to a spray painted nut from a hardware store* This is a token of Jim's undying and unwavering love for you. *slips it onto Cristy's finger*

Cristy: *stares at the ring* I don't know what to say!

Jim the Coconut: *rolls to side*

Cristy: I accept! *snatches up Jim and smothers the heavily duct taped coconut in kisses*

Kawaii Youko: This is very disturbing. *sweatdrops*

Neko: How romantic! *sighs happily*

Kawaii Youko: *blinks* I don't know what you're taking Neko, but it seems to be working.

Neko: *growls* What do you mean?! You don't find this the least bit romantic and sentimental?!

Kawaii Youko: Oh yeah, let me tell you about it. *rolls eyes*

Ruzena: This is going to be a mixed marriage if I ever saw one.

Baku: *nods* I'm just afraid to see what their kids are going to look like. *looks skeptical*

Hiei: *choked up* A coconut, finding true love. *drops the act* It makes me want to puke.

Kawaii Youko: So much for the notion of him being a sentimental fool underneath it all huh?

Chrystaline: Most definitely.

Neko: How about we have the wedding today!

~*~ Several Hours Later ~*~

A pink and green furby is seen sitting atop a small bush in the park. A book labeled "Marriage for Bakas" is seen in clear view.

~*~

Furby: *speaking in its annoying voice* We here today to join people in holy mattress money!

Neko: *clutching a tissue* It's just so beautiful!

~*~

In honor of the occasion, each applicant or member of the TPHC holds a flaming baton of papery doom above their head.

A young demon by the name of Sam hops on one foot down the isle, pelting people with rotting cheese. She has been dubbed "The Stinky Cheese Girl" in place of the traditional "Flower Girl".

A kazoo is being played to the tune of the wedding song. The guests and friends file in.

~*~

Furby: Friends, people, bakas in general, lend me your ears! *burps* We here to join Cristy and a coconut in holy mattress money!

Chrystaline: *snots with laughter* Is that a furby?!?

Neko: *teary eyed* They're so beautiful!

Kawaii Youko: Not a furby. NOT A FURBY!

Baku: Wow, you must be more sugar high than usual Kawaii.

Kawaii Youko: *hides a giant pixie stick out of sight* No, what ever gave you that idea???

~*~

The ceremony continues, with occasional outbursts and odd noises by the neon furby. At last, the big

moment comes to say "I do."

~*~

Furby: Do you Jim take Cristy to be your waffly wetted wife?

Jim the Coconut: *silence but rolls to side*

Furby: Cristy, do you take Jim to be your waffly wetted hussy band?

Cristy: I do! *holding Jim in her hands*

Furby: Then with the power invested in me, I pronounce you hussy band and wife! You may kiss the bride!

~*~

With those last, annoyingly high pitched words, the coconut and the demon kissed. They were now wed.

Cristy threw the bouquet, which consisted of several pipe cleaners and some pom-poms. It hit Hiei in the face, knocking him unconscious.

In honor of the newly weds, Kawaii Youko broke out the flame throwers and sake. In the end, the damages were high and there was a furby melted to the ground.

>>>

Well, what did you think of this joyous occasion? Was it worth the rather long wait? I hope so! I enjoyed writing it - so ha! So, who's next? Chrystaline, Baku or Ruzena? You decide! Let me know in your reviews!

Well, ja matte ne!

Kawaii Youko ^_~