Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Toilet Paper Haters Club (TPHC) ❯ The First Round of Lucky Contestants ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, the Popeye Song, Blue Bell Ice cream, Charmin (or any brand of toilet paper for that matter), any brand name of cheese, or any of the members in the TPHC (except Yoko Kurama, myself and Jim the Coconut).

Author's Note: Thank you everyone for all of those stirring reviews! I have received several requests for membership and they have been considered - we here at the TPHC will try to admit you to our wonderful organization. Well, on to the fic!

Chapter 2: The First Round of Lucky Contestants

In a line stand several people, each of which has been selected (at random) for initiation to the club, they include; Chrystaline, Ruzena, Cristy, Baku, and Kagome Neko Mononoke (Neko for short).

~*~

Yoko Kurama: Congratulations on being selected to join the TPHC!

Hiei: Hn. The initiation will be tough and it will require intense concentration. If any of you have an objections or wish to back out now, please step forward. *raises his katana as if to strike the first to place a toe out of line*

~*~

All look to one another, as if wondering if he would really kill someone. One girl, Baku, smiled. She stood taller than all but one of the others. Her turquoise eyes flickered. She took a step forward.

~*~

Baku: So what if we do?

Hiei: *glaring at the purple haired demon* Then you will be dead before you even hit the floor. You don't have a choice in whether or not you join.

Kawaii Youko: *who is sitting atop a file cabinet* So basically you join or you die? That's a bit harsh.

Hiei: *death glare* Do you dare defy Hiei, Ruler of the Dust Bunnies of Impending Doom? Do you dare go against my will?

Kawaii Youko: *sweatdrops* Uh, no, I'll pass on that one, thanks. *goes back to her lap top*

Yoko Kurama: *becomes distracted by shiny lap top*

~*~

Baku, unimpressed by Hiei's antics, places her hands on her hips. She doesn't return to her place in line.

~*~

Hiei: *angry* What are you waiting for woman? GET BACK IN LINE! *raises katana again*

Baku: *in an undertone* Sexist pig.

Hiei: *foaming at the mouth* WHAT WAS THAT WENCH? *slobber flying everywhere*

Everyone except Hiei: *sweatdrops*

Cristy: This is ridiculous! LET'S GET HIM GIRLS!

~*~

All at once, the girls, minus Kawaii Youko, tackle Hiei. He falls to the ground, snarling wildly. After several moments, he is finally restrained, muzzled and fitted into an XXS straight jacket.

~*~

Hiei: *through the muzzle, which is made entirely of cheddar cheese* THE DUST BUNNIES WILL GET YOU! THEY WILL RISE AGAINST YOU IN A FUZZY PINK UPROAR!

Yoko Kurama: *realizes that this could be a dangerous situation* Hiei. *pulls out a tub of sherbet ice cream and holds it in front of his face* Look what I have.

Hiei: *eyes wide* SWEET SNOW! *tackles him while still being inside a straight jacket*

Ruzena: *taking pictures of the scene* Ooh, perfect angle! Yeah! *drops first camera, but takes a second one from around her neck* I lose more cameras that way.

Kawaii Youko: *sweatdrops* And to think, I'm supposedly the most insane of all.

Hiei: *has eaten the muzzle and has now dove face first into the tub of ice cream* SWEET SNOW! YOU'RE MINE!

Ruzena: *taking many pictures of Hiei; his face is covered in orange ice cream, some of it is smeared into his eyebrows and hair* Oh, this is going on the internet!

Hiei: *breaks into song* I'M HIEI THE SAILOR MAN! I LIVE IN A GARBAGE CAN! I'M TOUGH AND I'M MEAN, I'LL STEAL YOUR ICE CREAM! I'M HIEI THE SAILOR MAN!

Yoko Kurama: Maybe he and I shouldn't have stayed up watching late night cartoons after all.

~*~

It's utter mayhem at the TPHC's head quarters, all the while, the people at Charmin are plotting an attack.

~*~

Charmin man #1: So is the secret weapon ready?

Charmin man #2: *nods* It's perfect. *holds up a roll of seemingly ordinary toilet paper* It's a double roll! *bursts into maniacal laughter* MWUHAHAHAHA!

Charmin man #1: We shall defeat the TPHC and the Dust Bunnies of Impending Doom with this! We thank you Wipey, the toilet paper god! *bows to giant golden roll of toilet paper*

>>>

Well there you have it, the members-to-be of the TPHC. This is only the first and surely not the last group of people who will be able to join the TPHC, more will be admitted soon. While some of them may not have had a large part, they will become familiar in the next chapter or so - when the initiations begin! Get ready, it's gonna be a wild one!

Kawaii Youko ^_~