Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Toilet Paper Haters Club (TPHC) ❯ Welcome to IHON! First Stop; Hiei's Hideaway ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: I do not even remotely own Yu Yu Hakusho or the characters, looney bins (A.K.A. ~ nut houses), anime obsession wards (I think they exist, and even if they don't, I'm pretty sure I don't own any outside of this fic), cheese of any brand, Charmin or any brand name of toilet paper, furbies, weddings (still) or anything relating to them, fangirls (thank goodness), straight jackets made of duct tape or any other material for holding bishies, smelly socks, or pretty much anything else in this fic! But I do own myself, IHON and all it's associated with (you'll find out later), the TPHC (well, you know) and the rights to Jim the Coconut!

Author's Note: From the above disclaimer, you can tell this is going to be a wild chapter! Now, in this chappie, there will be many new comers and let me tell you, some of them are going to throw you for a loop! ^__^

Chapter 6: Welcome to IHON! Our First Stop; Hiei's Hide-away

After the great wedding fiasco, it was decided that it would be in everyone's best interests to visit a place where they could all calm down and socialize with people who are more insane than them; a looney bin!

~*~

Hiei: *walking beside Kawaii Youko* Why are we doing this again?

Kawaii: *sigh* To retain what little bit of sanity we have left, if any at all

Hiei: Hn. *nods*

~*~

A large building slowly comes into view. There are bushes lining the white exterior and across the front of it are the name "IHON".

The group enters through the automatic doors and walk up to the counter. A lady in her mid 30's is seated in a swivel chair and has a headset on.

~*~

Lady: *artificially optimistic voice* Welcome to IHON. How may we help you today?

Youko Kurama: Ihon?

Lady: No, IHON. It's an acronym dear.

Hiei: *sarcastically* An acronym? For what? Idiots Hyped On Narcotics?

Everyone minus Hiei: *snicker loudly*

Lady: Of course not, silly. It stands for: International House Of Nuts, but that was a good guess little one.

Hiei: *left eye twitching* What did you just call me?!

Lady: *blinks* Silly?

Hiei: *in a disgusted tone of voice* No, the other one.

Lady: Little one? *ruffles his hair*

~*~

Hiei's eyes narrowed to slits as his hand instinctively reached for his katana, which rested safely in its sheath. In one sweeping motion he could have killed the woman, had it not been for Yoko Kurama's hand, which met his. With a warning glance from the taller demon, Hiei was subdued.

~*~

Lady: *smiles cheerfully* Would you like me to show you to the wards?

Kawaii: Yes, please. *trying to quell the rapidly rising tension*

~*~

The group is led down a long stretch of white hallways, passing the occasional door or flight of stairs. The place is eerily quiet, but the silence is occasionally pierced by the shouts of the inhabitants kept here.

The lady leads them to a set of doors. Above them the words "Anime Obsession Wards" are printed in big, bold letters. She continued along until there was a junction, one path leading to Nuts in Ruts (NIR) and the other to Yu Yu Hakusho Hunters (YYH Hunters). They took the second path.

~*~

Lady: Here we are, the YYH Hunters. They are perfectly suited to your interests. *dewy smile* On the right side, you will find as follows: Kurama's Secret Garden, Yoko's Den and Hiei's Hide-away. On your left, you will find Koenma's Castle, Yusuke's Yard and Kazuma-Montezuma's Place. These names were selected as the most appropriate titles for the rooms. Please, visit them at your leisure. Thank you and enjoy your stay at IHON. *briskly walks away, muttering various things under her breath*

Chrystaline: The only question is; which one first? *studies the doors*

Cristy: *in an ecstatic voice* HIEI'S HIDE-AWAY! HIEI'S HIDE-AWAY! *jumps up and down, cradling the newly wed Jim the Coconut*

Baku: *raises eyebrow at her* Aren't you married?

Cristy: So? What does my being married to Jim have to do with wanting to check out Hiei's Hide-away?

Hiei: *rolls eyes at the bickering girls* Let's just go then. *walks into the room without any hesitation what-so-ever*

Everyone else: *follow him, wondering what could await them in the sanctity of Hiei's Hide-away*

Kawaii: *walks inside* This is spooky. *shivers*

Hiei: *takes a step forward, looking around the room*

~*~

Hiei's Hide-away seems similar to what you could possibly see in a black hole. The walls, a pitch black, loomed what looked like hundreds of feet high. The floor, an endless expanse of black tile, was perfectly clean. However, beneath a large poster of Hiei on the wall opposite of them, were five girls dressed in all black; Hiei obsessed Goths.

They all sat on their knees, praying to the immortal image. The prayers of the girls, each in a ranging monotone, rung out in the room, blending together as one.

After the abrupt sound of voices and muffled footsteps, the voices ceased. A girl positioned in the middle spoke in an unusually calm and fairly deep voice.

~*~

Girl: *without looking up from the floor* Who has dared venture into the realm of Hiei's Hide-away?

Hiei: I have, who are you?

Girl: Hn. It seems you've finally come Hiei. *slowly rises to her feet, her back still turned to them* For months now we've anticipated your arrival, oh Lord of the Black Flame. I am Kanu, your devoted follower, and soon to be bride.

~*~

With those last words, the girl spun around. Her black hair, which fell a few inches past her slim waist, whipping around as she went. The white streaks, nearly identical to those belonging to Hiei, ran vertically through her hair.

Upon first glance, she appeared no more than fifteen or sixteen by human reckoning, however, her young appearance was soon to be found deceiving. Within her crimson eyes a feigned knowledge could be seen, something only one who had lived centuries passed could possess. Lining them was a quantity of dark make-up, expertly applied.

She began to slowly approach the awe-struck group; her eyes staring steadily at Hiei. As she walked, her revealing black clothes fluttered, displaying her lean and rather tall build. A smile tugged at her lips, painted a lovely shade of black.

Without any prior warning, she places a delicate hand on Hiei's right cheek and kissed his lips. He stood there, completely dumbfounded by this mysterious creature. She reluctantly released him.

~*~

Hiei: *eyes wide* What was that?

Kanu: *a slight smirk on her face* That was a kiss Hiei darling, and it is to be the first of many to come.

Cristy: *glaring daggers at Kanu, her left eye twitching*

Kanu: And you Hiei, are to be my husband for all of eternity. *grins*

>>>

Well, I'm sorry that this chapter was so extremely delayed! *bows to everyone who is now pelting her with rotten tomatoes* But none the less, here it is. Um, not so much humor in this chapter I suppose. But still, this will lead to something. ^__^ Hope you enjoyed it! Read and review!

Kawaii Youko ^_~