Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Toilet Paper Haters Club (TPHC) ❯ Soap Operas and Admission to Kurama's Secret Garden! ( Chapter 7 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its wonderfully inventive characters, looney bins (though I need to check into one pretty soon ^^;;), any brand of toilet paper (nor do I wish to), anime obsession wards, soap operas, furbies, weddings (or anything of that nature), divorce related stuff, fangirls (thank goodness), straight jackets made of duct tape or any other material for holding bishies, smelly socks, loin cloths (don't ask), spears, creepy monotones, any type of plant whether it is Makain or not, Mountain Dew and all of its sugar highness that follows, or pretty much anything else in this fic! But I do own myself, IHON and all it's associated with, the TPHC (well, you know) and the rights to Jim the Coconut!

Author's Note: *sigh* Okay, the whole Mary-Sue thing was not what I was going for at all. Oh well. ^^ Maybe this chapter will right the wrongs (if you can call them that) of the prior chapter.

Chapter 7: Soap Operas and Admission to Kurama's Secret Garden

With those last words the entire group anime fell. Cristy, who was one of the first to jump to her feet, raised a fist defensively at this new threat to Hiei's ownership.

~*~

Cristy: *fuming* Just what gives you the right to say that you're going to marry Hiei?! What if someone else wants him?! Someone like me!

Baku: *cocks a brow at the furious koorime* I think you were drawing the line even coming in here, but girl, you're already married. *indicates Jim the Coconut, who had recently fallen from Cristy's arms*

Jim the Coconut: *heartbroken silence, followed by an utterly torn silence*

Yoko Kurama: *translating for Jim* Cristy, don't you love me anymore? Am I not good enough for you? *goes to his knees, is now about eye level with Cristy*

Cristy: *looks at the coconut with tears filling her solemn red eyes*

Kanu: *has resided to clinging to Hiei's arm, without any notice from the others*

Hiei: *sweatdrops*

Yoko Kurama: *still translating* After all I've done for you, tried to give you everything you wanted, you do this to me? Fall for another man??

Neko: *has tears streaming down her face, her hands clapped together* Oh you can't let it end this way! You two are meant to be! It's true love I tell you!

Kawaii Youko: *sighs and shakes head* Not another soap opera.

Chrystaline: *standing beside her* Looks that way, doesn't it?

Cristy: Jim, I don't think this will work. *biting lower lip to keep from crying* I - I want a divorce!

Kawaii and Chrystaline in unison: *mushroom sigh* Yep, it's a soap opera.

Neko: *gasp* But Cristy, you love him! He loves you! Don't give up on true love!

Jim the Coconut: *utter and shocked silence*

Cristy: I'm sorry Jim. *looks at the floor*

Baku: *looks to the ceiling* How did I know this would happen? How did I know?

~*~

After a moment of tense silence, Yoko Kurama picks up Jim the Coconut, holding him at eye level with Cristy. Jim's sunglasses, which were damaged badly in a prior incident, looked almost sinister in the low light of Hiei's Hide-away.

~*~

Yoko Kurama: *still translating for Jim* Fine Cristy, I can see that you are serious in this decision, so I will respect that. However, I will be taking back my ring and I will be going to court for custody of our children.

Cristy: *blinks* But Jim, we never had any children!

Jim the Coconut: *dumbfounded silence*

Ruzena: *taking pictures of the tragic scene* And I thought they'd be together forever. *sighs wistfully*

Yoko Kurama: *loudly clears his throat* Well, if that settles everything, uh, who has the divorce papers?

Baku: I do. *hands them to Yoko*

Kawaii Youko: *cocks a brow* Why do you have those??

Baku: *shrugs* Someone up there told me I'd need them. *points at ceiling*

VO from ceiling: *evil laugh* BWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Baku: *sweatdrops* That's just disturbing.

Ruzena: *nods* That it is.

~*~

As the papers are being signed, Hiei desperately tried to pry himself from Kanu's grip. The soon to be divorced Cristy glared.

~*~

Cristy: *through gritted teeth* Let. Go. Of. My. Hiei.

Hiei: Since when do I belong to either of you?!

Neko: So many love triangles! *crying*

Group: *anime fall*

Cristy: *makes a face* NO! Hiei is mine, just mine!

Yoko Kurama: *sweatdrops* Well, look what time it is, heh. How about we move on?

~*~

After a group vote, the gang advances out the door and towards the next room, Kurama's Secret Garden.

Upon entering the room, a warm thermal of air hits everyone. The plants, which surrounded every wall of the rather large room, seems to be other-worldly, however, wild rose bushes sprouted out of random places, the buds in full bloom. Awe seemed to be the look on everyone's face. Slowly, the door slid shut, trapping both them and the warmth inside.

~*~

Baku: It's like an oven in here! *fanning herself with her hand*

Ruzena: No kidding.

~*~

Before they were able to take another step into the mysterious garden, a pair of teenage boys dressed in skimpy magenta loin cloths approached. Both had hair similar in color and cut as Kurama and had green eyes. Clutched in their hands were spears.

~*~

Boys in Unison: *in an eerie monotone* Welcome to Kurama's Secret Garden. It is here that we worship his honorable foxiness. What is your business with Lady Keaira and Lady Myuka?

Kawaii Youko: Lady Keaira and Lady Myuka? *cocks a brow*

Boys: Yes.

Yoko Kurama and Hiei: *twitch* Keaira?!

Boys: Yes.

~*~

With another twitch, Hiei's hand rest defensively over his katana, still in its sheath. Yoko Kurama hid behind Kawaii Youko, which did very little, due to the fact that he is over a foot taller than her.

~*~

Kawaii Youko: Good gods, what's got you two so freaked out?! *trying to get her muse to move away from her*

Hiei and Yoko: *scared tones* They said Keaira!!

Boys: Yes. Keaira.

Hiei and Yoko: See! *twitch*

Kawaii Youko: And your point would be what? *cocks a brow at the two*

Yoko: IT'S KEAIRA! PURE EVIL I TELL YOU! EEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVIIIIILLLLLLL! *hisses*

Chrystaline: *sigh* This is going to be a long day. *hits forehead with hand*

>>>

Yay! I finished a chapter! *dances around* I was going to have this up about 2 days ago; however, some hacker got into gateway systems and uploaded some virus that kept shutting down my computer. =_= ;; So blame the delay on them! ^_^;;

Whatcha think? Hope you liked it! *smiles* Read and Review! ^^

Kawaii Youko ^_~