Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ The Toilet Paper Haters Club (TPHC) ❯ A Hop, Skip and a Jump From Sanity ( Chapter 9 )

Disclaimer: Sheesh, it's been ages since I've written one of these things. Okay, here goes. *deep breath* I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, any of its coolie characters, looney bins (though I need to check into one pretty soon ^^;;), any brand of toilet paper (nor do I wish to), anime obsession wards, soap operas, furbies (thank all gods *shudders*), weddings (or anything of that nature), divorce related stuff, fangirls (thank goodness), straight jackets made of duct tape or any other material for holding bishies, smelly socks, loin cloths (don't ask), spears, creepy monotones, chipmunk-like voices, any type of plant whether it is Makain or not, Mountain Dew and all of its sugar highness that follows, ukuleles (well talk about that later on in the story), themes from anything at all, Georgio the Italian Penguin (he happens to belong to my friend Chrystaline *waves*), the 'baka mallet' (courtesy of Neko *bows*), the song "Barbie Girl", "cabbits", bunny slippers, either of the crazy Kurama Queens (they own and manage themselves, thanks) or pretty much anything else in this fic! But I do own myself, IHON and all it's associated with, the TPHC (well, you know) and the rights to Jim the Coconut!

Author's Note: =__= Sorry again for all of the late updates. Lately, inspiration has been evading me. Hope you like this chapter. ^-^

Chapter 9: A Hop, Skip and a Jump From Sanity

From a mysteriously appearing staircase, descended one of IHON's most heavily deranged patients; Myuka. From the vertically challenged girl came a high-pitched cackling, shrewd enough to send even the fiercest of bunny slippers running for cover. Everywhere from the tips of her acrylic painted toe nails to the top of her cabbit ears is shroud in ill-willed hyperness.

From her throat came another sound, not as high-pitched or sinister as her cackle, though just as daunting; a voice somewhat resembling that of a chipmunk.

~*~

Myuka: Welcome! Welcome all! *slight snicker* You've now entered the sanctity of Kurama's Secret Garden! *cackle* I'm -

Kawaii Youko: CHIPMUNK!!

Myuka: *sweatdrops* What was that?

Kawaii Youko: It's a chipmunk!!

Myuka: *twitch* I. Am. A. Cabbit. Not a chipmunk. *coughs* Now, back to what I was saying.

~*~

With those words, the clinically insane creature reached down, hitting `play' on a small cd player. Out of the speakers came a sound so horrible; so wicked, it cannot be described in words.

~*~

Myuka: *singing along* I'm a Barbie Girl! In a Barbie Wooooooorrrrrld! Life in plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush my hair! Undress me everywheeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrre!

~*~

As the accursed tune played on the radio, the feared cabbit adding unnecessary vocals, the members and members-to-be of the TPHC were hurled into a frenzy of pink-themed madness.

Neko, having always been the enthusiast of the group, began dancing in place, singing along absentmindedly. Baku, who stood beside the bopping cat, let out an exasperated sound as she covered her ears.

Cristy, now paralyzed with fear, gawked at the scene, her eyes bulging.

Even Jim was affected by the mind rotting song.

~*~

Jim the Coconut: *mind rotting, horrified silence*

Yoko Kurama: *noticing Jim* Dear God! This song has unnerved even Jim!! JIM I TELL YOU!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

Jim the Coconut: *rolls to the side, having "taken cover", exposing his tough side*

~*~

Georgio, using his penguin sense of urgency and panic, took a great leap of faith from atop Chrystaline's head. The tiny creature landed with a noise similar to one a squeak toy would make; a deafening "SQUEAAAAAAAK!".

With his flightless bird-like speed, he daringly waddled where no penguin has waddled before; in the direction of the cabbit and her box of musical blonde-haired, plastic promoting doom.

His small, beady eyes narrowed in intense concentration, as he extended his pencil to silence the sound. A sweat broke out on his feathery forehead as he bit his tongue in between his beak. Finally, after several agonizing seconds of stretching, the eraser of the pencil made contact, quieting the bimbo inspired music.

The entire group sighed in relief; or more so, all except Neko, who was still dancing, now to her own rhythm.

~*~

Myuka: *having fallen to her knees in defeat* NOOOOOOOO!!!! MY PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURE DEVICE; FOILED BY A MERE PENGUIN!!!! I'M MELTINGGGG! I'M MELTINGGGG!! OH WHAT A WORLD!!! *wails in agony*

Chrystaline: *picks up the small penguin, smothering him in kisses* My hero!!

Ruzena: *blinks* Wow Chrystaline, I never knew you had a thing for flightless birds. *snickers and snaps picture of the two*

Cristy: *pokes Myuka with a randomly appearing stick* Is she dead yet?

Myuka: *gurgling noises*

Tall Boy in Magenta Loincloth: *in a grief stricken monotone* Myuka. *lifts the gurgling cabbit girl in his arms* My dear Myuka. *looks towards the ceiling* Why did it have to end this way? Why?! *breaks monotone* COME BACK TO US MYUKA! BREATHE! *sets her down and begins mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, using a plunger*

Myuka: *eyes shoot open* ACK!!!! *sits up, banging her head into the guy's, knocking him unconscious* Wow. What a weird dream. I dreamt a zombie with really big lips was trying to suck my soul out through my mouth!! And he almost got it too!! And I nearly wet my pants!! *shudders at the thought of a zombie*

Kawaii Youko: *cocks brow* And to think, you wonder WHY you were institutionalized in the first place.

Myuka: *blinks* Whaaaaat?

Baku: *taps Kawaii Youko's shoulder* Hey, I thought there were supposed to be TWO Kurama Queens.

Hiei: *still bound, having gotten rid of his gag* LOOK OUT!

~*~

From the top of the stair rail slid another girl, her long, dark hair whipping about behind her. An evil laugh, only rivaled by Myuka's, filled the air as she slid off of the end of the rail, landing on Hiei and Yoko Kurama.

~*~

Yoko Kurama and Hiei: AHHHHHH!!! KEAIRA!!!! *writhing in fear*

Keaira: I'M BACKKKKKKKK!!! *cackle*

>>>

*smirks* Are you afraid yet? You should be. The madness is really about to start getting rolling, now that both of the Kurama Queens have entered the story. Next chapter is bound to be unpredictable and sommat you don't wanna miss! Until next time, ja ne!

Kawaii Youko ^_~