Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Tis the Season ❯ Santa comes to town! ( Chapter 10 )

Disclaimer: uh huh sssssuuuuuuurrrrrreeee I do. ^_~ ^_~ wink wink nudge nudge

Summary: sigh. It's the last chapter of Tis the Season! T_T its been so much fun writing this fic and now its almost over!!!!! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Well, for the conclusion of our little party, we have a surprise visitor!!!!! SANTA!!!!! ^_^ and, with no further ado, on with the fic!

::thoughts::

Hiei turned to one of Kurama's stalkers. "Kuronue, truth or dare."

::Hmm it's my turn. Hmmm what to pick. If I don't want to be humiliated then I should pick truth, but then Kurama will think I'm a wimp for not picking dare. But I pick dare Hiei will probably make me do the I Don't Wanna Be A Chicken dance or something. Aw screw it I pick dare::Kuronue thought. "Dare me sucka" (a/n: hahaha I stole that from ed edd and eddy. Oh I don't own that either! ^_~)

Hiei grinned evilly. ::Oh no, it's the chicken dance I just know it's the chicken dance:: Kuronue thought while shrinking away from the drunk fire demon.

"I dare you,"

::here it comes….::

"to…."

::any second now….::

"NOT HIT ON KURAMA FOR THE REST OF THE PARTY!!!!"

Kuronue's eyes widened. "NOOOOO ANYTHING BUT THAT DARE!!!!!!!! WHY NOT MAKE ME DANCE THE I DON'T WANNA BE A CHICKEN SONG OR SOMETHING?!!?!?!?!?!?"

"Nope sorry sucka, I like my dare much better than that. Besides, I don't need to hear any other horrible songs today, I've heard more than my share thank you very much."

"Whhhhhaaaaa Jaganshi Hiei you're so mean! I'm gonna tell my mommy on you!!!"

"Like I give a shit."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" he ran out of the room crying. Unfortunately, instead of using the door, he ran into the fireplace and hit the brick wall. Then he began to fly up the chimney, only to come crashing down with a fat, red and white clad man with a big white beard and a large bag.

Yusuke's eyes widened. "IT'S SANTA!!!!!! I'VE BEEN A GOOD LITTLE BOY THIS YEAR SANTA, SO CAN I HAVE A SPEEDBOAT?!?!?! HUH HUH CAN I HUH?"

"Hell no! You think you've been good?!?!?!?! Don't you remember LAST year when you PURPOSELY left the hot coals in the fire place? My rear end STILL hurts from that experience!"

"Awwww but Santa that was LAST year!"

"Nooooo it was this year. It was 363 days ago."

"Isn't that how many days there are in a year?"

"No Urimeshi, it's 463 days in a year. Jeez man, you need to learn these things, we learned that in like preschool," said Kuwabara.

"Actually, there are 365 days in a year. You BOTH need to go back to kindergarten! Bakas," replied Santa.

Kieko stood in front of Santa. "Santa, I swear I've been a good girl. Could I have a pony?"

"Ah yes, Yukimura Kieko. Yes, you have been a very good girl, keeping your troublesome boyfriend in line."

"HEY!!! I DON'T SEE HOW HER SLAPPING ME EVERY FEW SECONDS MAKES HER A `GOOD GIRL'"

"CAN IT YUSUKE! I WANT A PONY! You shouldn't be jealous of people who are better than you," replied Kieko.

"BUT."

"But what Santa?"

"BUT…….. you are currently very drunk, and are setting a bad example for all the kids under the age of 13 who are reading this, WHICH THEY SHOULD NOT BE AS THIS FIC IS RATED PG-13 SO THEY GET COAL IN THEIR STOCKINGS THIS YEAR!!!!"

Kurama looked confused. "But Santa, what are you talking about? What's a `fic'?"

Santa sweatdropped. "Oh it's nothing it's nothing. Anyway, NO ONE has been good this year at this party, so NO ONE gets presents from me this year. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I win."

Everyone starts crying.

"Whhhhhaaaaaaaa but I wanted a Kurama plushie!!!!" whined Karasu.

"Yeah me too whhaaaaa Santa you are so mean!!!!" added Kuronue.

"Well, I personally don't care if I don't get anything else, cus I have my cute little fire demon, and that's all I could ever want," stated Kurama, causing Hiei to blush.

Santa covered his ears. " OK OK OK I'LL GIVE YOU ALL PRESENTS!!! JUST SHUT UP!!!!!"

Everyone perked up. "YAY!!!! THANK YOU SANTA!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!"

"Yeah yeah yeah I know." ::rotten kids. I wish I had looked harder at the job résumé.::

Yusuke spoke again. "Hey Santa, why are you here? It's two days before your big sleigh ride! Shouldn't you be up at the north pole with all those little elf people getting ready?"

"I can't stand it up there!!! Mrs. Clause always nagging me about stuff like `are the reindeer ready to go?' and `have you packed your bag of presents' and `is your coat warm enough?'. It drives me CRAZY I tell you! Cccrrrrraaaazzzzyyyyy."

The humans all sweat dropped, except for the demons who were looking at Santa Clause as though he was a pint sized, three headed elephant. Hiei finally got up the courage to ask the question that was on all of their minds. "Um…..Who the hella ARE you???"

Santa did an anime fall. "I'm Santa Clause you DIMWIT! I go around every year on December 24 and go down everyone's chimney and put presents under their Christmas trees while they're asleep! Don't you know ANYTHING?!?!?!"

Genkai spoke up. "Hey that's MY word you idiot! And the only dimwit in this room is Yusuke."

"I'm sorry ma'am. Ok you BAKA!"

Hiei spoke this time. "Jeez man get your own word! Baka is MY word, and the only baka in here is Kuwabara! Oh, and Karasu and Kuronue cus they won't stop hitting on Kurama."

"Ok FINE. Is moron taken?"

"Yup that's my other word."

"You can't have TWO words!"

"I can and I do so live with it."

"Ok how bout this. ESTUPIDO! Hahahaha I bet no one can beat that!"

Roto poked his head in. "I can! Cus I'm the crazy Mexican demon!! Muhahahahahahaha."

"Hey didn't I kill you?" Kurama asked.

"Oh yeah, hehehehehehehe I'm supposed to still be in Rekai aren't I. Hehehehehe my bad lo siento!"

*darkdemonchild appears* "Yo that's MY saying! No copying!"

Roto sweatdropped. "Hehehe yes ma'am. My bad."

*nikki appears* "That's MY saying! I'm gonna kick your ass for copying my saying!!!"

Roto sweat dropped again. "Ok I think this calls for a retreat on my part. RUN AWAY!!!!!"

Ddc and Nikki high five each other. "Oh yeah, we rock."

Everyone looked at them as though they were gigantic, pink and blue bunnies. "Um who the hell are you guys?"

Ddc and Nikki sweatdrop. "Hehehehe we'll let Santa explain this one for you. But before you do that, have you heard the news?!?!"

"What news?" asked Kuwabara.

"You mean you haven't heard the news!"

"No! What news!?!?!?!?!"

"Why, the news about the giant man eating meatball that's attacking people in San Francisco of course. Baka don't you ever watch the news?" *they disappear *

"Oooookkkkk then that was weird. Anyway, Santa, why of all places did you choose to crash our party?" questioned Yusuke.

"Well isn't it obvious? Because I'm in love with Hiei!!"

Hiei's eyes widened. "WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!?!?! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!?!?!?!?"

Kurama glared at Santa. "What the fuck?!?! He's mine! No one else can have him! He's all mine! Miiiiinnnnnneeeeee."

Santa grabbed Hiei's right arm. "He's MINE!"

Kurama grabbed his left arm. "No he's MINE!"

And Santa and Kurama commenced in playing tug of war with the small fire demon. Suddenly Yusuke heard a strange beeping sound.

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep

"Hey Kuwabara, what's that beeping sound?"

"That would be Kurama being censored, considering he's swearing his head off at Santa."

"How did he get censored? Isn't that only for the radio and tv shows?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Noo…."

"We're in the Robbie the Reindeer Christmas Special! And there's Britney Spears!"

Britney Spears walked up to them. "Hey boys. You guys are pretty cute. How bout you `hit me one more time'?" she said with a wink.

"AHHHHHHHHH IT'S SATAN'S WIFE!!!!!!!!!! RUN AWAY!!!!!" screamed Yusuke as he ran out of the room only to be confronted with the Spice Girls.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" he ran into the kitchen to see Christina Aguilera pole dancing to "Dirrty"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! WAKE ME UP FROM THIS NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!"

Suddenly he heard a loud crash.

The world went black and Yusuke opened his eyes sleepily. ::whew it was just a dream:: He got up to see his mother passed out again and had knocked over eight empty beer bottles in the process of getting a beer.

"Ooookkkk that's just a LITTLE creepy," he said a little nerviously.

Just then the phone rang. Yusuke picked it up. "Mushi mushi?" he asked sleepily.

"Oi Urimeshi! Get your ass out of bed and get over to my house! We're gonna have an early Christmas party!" screeched the nasally voice of Kuwabara on the other line.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S A NEVER ENDING NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!" he slammed the phone down and ran into the bathroom, locked the door, and sat in the corner shivering.

*at Kuwabara's house *

"What was all that about?" asked Santa.

"Who knows. Urimeshi's finally cracked under the pressure of being Rekai Tantei I guess," replied Kuwabara.

"Oh well. His loss," said Santa as he walked over to the couch and sat down in between Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera and at his feet sat the Spice Girls.

The End

Darkdemonchild: hahahahahaha total chaos there. Oh by the way about me adding myself in, I just had to do that, cus my saying really is "my bad, lo siento" and it just wouldn't be right if I didn't add in my friend nikki whose saying is "my bad". Though she'll probably beat me up for putting her in -_- oh well it was worth it ^_^. Sooooo how did you all like that ending? That it was all a dream of yusuke and then suddenly it becomes a reality? Hehehehehehe well anyway, please review!