Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ To Be Loved. ❯ Slice, slice, slice ( Chapter 1 )

Jinju: Hey all, This is my first Yu Yu hakusho fanfic, and my first self insert fic. and SORRY if I make loads of mistake, I am NOT Japanese, I'm Korean, and I make a lot of mistakes in English.

this is about YOU!: You're a girl with long hair, that ends up to your ribs. You have pitch black colored hair, and lavender colored eyes. Your skin color is like Hiei's.

Your clothes: You were a tight black tank, and baggy ninja pants. Over those, you wear a black trench coat. Your shoes (boots) are combat boots.

Your height: Your height is exactly like Hiei's (A lot of people don't like it when your shorter than Hiei, so I'll make it so your height like him.) BUT since your combat boots gives you a little boost, you APPEAR taller than him.

Demon: You're a psychic/water demon. With your psychic half, you can levitate things, and you can control any one, and animal. You can also predict a move. Your water half… you can do anything with water. Not much to say about that.

What they call you: Your nickname is TEDDY! I do NOT feel like typine (yn) all the time, or ________.

Summary: You are a suicidal girl, who wants out. You don't know who your REAL parents are, and, because of a accident years ago, you lost all of your memories. Your age is unknown, but you appear 15 years old. Now, your stranded with an unhappy step family, who are constantly nagging. They don't abuse you or anything like that. They just nag. They don't love you either- no one loved you, except for you real parents. The only thing you have left of your parents is a ring, with strange markings.

Well, anyways, the Reikai Tentei finds you in a park, and they change your life forever.

Reader/Hiei fic.

I don't own anything. Now, I have to go find my shorty, and the fox…. (guess who?)

Jinju: Dials phone number: Hey! Can you guys come over? Yeah? Ok, thanks! (grins at the readers) Enjoi!

xOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxOxO

Drip. Drip. Drip. Rain? No. Tears. You sit on your bed, staring at the bottle of pills in your hand. `should I, or should I not?' The soft side of your mind said. `After all, I might just bring sadness to my step parents. After all they've gone thru to raise me..' Then another voice in your head comes. `I say go for it. I mean, `bring sadness to my step parents'? How? Ha, they wont care. If I do this, they'll have a chance to rest their mouths. I'm just a burden to them. Though, it's a wonder why they didn't send me back to the orphanage. Anyways, this is ridiculous! I'm waay older than they are! They shouldn't rule me!' The rebellious part of your mind screeched. `That may be so, but do you honestly think they'll believe if we're older than them? For gosh sakes, we appear fifteen! Keep it cool- you don't want to ruin our act, do you? Your life is a valuable thing. You only live once.' The soft part argued. `If I die, I can meet my parents.' The rebellious part shot back. `not unless you go to hell!' The soft part shoots.

You looked at the pills in your hand, and chucked it away. `It might not even work.' You think bitterly. You glance to the side, and saw your dagger collection. You pull out four daggers, strapped them on your belt, and put your trench coat on. In each sleeves, you put three daggers, so that way when your in danger, you just have to shake your arm, and it goes in between your fingers.

You stalked out of your room, and out of the house, ignoring your step parents.

You walked to a park, and noticed how no one was out, because it was a winter day. (AN: Around December.) You sat down at the trunk of a tree, and drew your knees up to your chest, and cried.

Crying. The thing you did every so often. You just couldn't take the pain. You just couldn't accept the fact that no one loved you. How does it feel to be loved? To be admired? You didn't know. How you wish you were with your real parents, even though you didn't know a fact about them. You wiped your eyes, but it didn't help. More tears came.

You knew you were a demon. You knew you lived on this earth, more than any human. You just forgot about your past. The events. The only thing you knew- were scraps.

You pulled out a dagger from your belt. You rolled up your trench coat sleeves- slice! another cut for your collection. Slice! Another one! Slice, slice, slice! Another, another, another!

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~In the spirit world……~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"What do you want, Toddler?" Yusuke's voice drawled, as he and the other three walked into the office. Koenma looked up, with a vein popping out. "Don't call me a toddler! Don't forget, that IM the one who gave you another chance to LIVE!" He snapped. "Yeah, yeah. Sure. Whatever. What do you want?" Yusuke sighed.

"I want you to find this girl." Koenma said, and pointed behind them, which is where the big screen is. A beautiful girl…. you! The girl was you! Your hair was in a high pony tail, and your bangs were pushed to one side. You had soft lavender eyes. You were smiling, but the smile didn't reach your eyes.

"WHOA!!!!!!! TALK ABOUT H-O-T!" Kuwabara exclaimed, drooling. "I agree." Yusuke said in awe. Kurama blushed a little, and the same message went thru the fox's and Hiei's head: She's good looking…

"But, why?" Kurama ask, tearing his gaze away from your picture. Koenma sighs. "Shes a psychic /water demon. A powerful one at that. She knows what she is, but I'm afraid she forgot about all of the events in her past. Oh yes, and she's also being hunted down. By whom? That's what I'm still trying to figure out. Now go to Ningenkai, and find her!" Koenma says. "Will she be working with us?" Yusuke asks, and everyone looks at Koenma. "Looks like you knew my plans. Well, since your so curious, yes. Now go!" Koenma snaps. They leave.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Back to you..~*~*~*~*~*~

You stared at your left arm, which wasn't bleeding, since you ARE half water. They were still pink.

Temptation. You were tempted so many times to just thrust the dagger into your heart. But you could never bring yourself to do it. Why? You wanted to die painlessly.

You wipe your dagger on the snow, and slipped it back into your belt.

After a while, you took it out again. You were addicted to this. Addicted to cutting. You just couldn't stop. Who was there to stop you? Who cared? Your step parents didn't care. Heck, they didn't even love you! As long as it was YOUR arm you were cutting, they could care less about you.

Love. How do you know when your in love? What does it feel like? To be in love? Do you even know if your loving the right person? Better yet, how does it feel like, when someone loves you?

This time, you moved on to your right arm. Slice. This was a great feeling. Well, to you at least. You couldn't even feel the pain. Slice. Slice. You sniffed, as more and more tears pour out of your eyes. "Life sucks." you whisper to yourself. "Especially mine." You add bitterly. You heard a crunch, somewhere in front of you but you didn't care. If one person looked at you, they would automatically know that you had a tough life, and if someone in the street found you cutting, they would understand. You began breathing hard, your sobs getting loud.

You were tired. Tired of everything. Tired of your nagging parents. Tired of those perverts who look at you lustfully. Tired of those bimbos who tried to outdo you. Tired of seeing couples so in love. Tired of life.

~*~*~*~~*~*~With the gang..~*~*~*~*~*~

"This is so stupid!" Yusuke growled. "We're in the middle of a freakin' cold wintery day! Why look for her NOW?!" He runs his hand in his hair. "Yeah, but think about the hot babe that's gonna work with us…" Kuwabara said, dreamily. "I'm used to this weather." Kurama said. "So am I" Hiei says.

They heard a sniffle. All of them immediately quieted. Then, they heard a soft sob, and hard breathing. "Its coming from over there." Hiei said, pointed at a large tree. They trudged over there, and saw a human ball, with a dagger.

They stopped, dead in their tracks. They saw your face, which had mascara dripping from your eyes. (AN: which meant, your tears carried it down your cheeks. Heh, I like how it looks like.) "T-that's the girl!" Kuwabara said. They all nodded.

They also saw you cut your wrist. Blood poured from it. Another cut. Slice. Slice. Suddenly, Hiei grabbed the dagger from you. You looked up…

~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*In your shoes~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You looked up, with a angry gleam in your eyes. A short person, with a white starburst. Interesting…. You sniffed the air. Fire demon.. You also smelt a fox scent. You didn't care. All you wanted was your dagger back.

"Give. that. back." You say, seething. "No, baka onna." He snaps at you. You cleaned up your cuts with your water energy again. But before you could say anything, he hit you, with the hilt of his sword. You blacked out, not before grabbing your dagger. You hit the ground.

"Hiei! You should have given her dagger back!" Kurama scolded. Hiei shrugged. "Hn." He picked you up, and they began walking to Genkai's.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*GENKAIS~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*

You groaned. "I think shes coming around." You heard a voice said. You opened your eyes, and sat up. You looked down- someone removed your trench coat. Oh well. At least you were still in your tank.

You hissed, and rubbed the back of your head. "Aw, crap…." you hiss. Suddenly, your lower part didn't feel heavy. You touched your belt- your daggers! Where were they?! You snapped your head up, only to find six people. "Hell-o! Looks like your up!" A blue haired airhead say/ (AN: I have nothing against her. I like Botan… its just.. she's a airhead, aint she?). "Arent you observant." You said, sarcastically. "Hey! Im Yusuke!" A boy with slicked back hair say. You grunted in response. "Hello, I am Kurama." A boy with red hair said. Again, you grunted. "That over there, is Hiei." He said, pointed at the guy behind him. You didn't grunt this time, but glared. "Turd.." you mutter under your breath. Someone grabbed your hand. You looked down, to see a orange top looking at you, starry eyes. "I am the GREAT KAZUMA KUWABARA! Will you go out with me?" He says, grinning. You look at him. "I'm gonna count to ten for you to let go, and I aint good at counting either." You whisper dangerously. The others laughed at your last comment. "One, two.. TEN!" As you yelled, you punched his face him, which had him flying. "see, I told you I aint good at countin." You say, smirking. You put your attention to the others. "Im Yukina." A short girl said. You gave her a half smile. and began looking everywhere. "Where the heck are my daggers?" You ask. She gives you a box. "Here you go." You look inside, and sure enough, there it was.

You saw your combat boots by the door. You levitated them to you, as the others watch in shock. "Huh?" You say, as you looked up at them staring.

"Yo!" A voice behind you say, and you look behind you, to see a teen Koenma.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~

Jinju: I had to stop there.. Thru-out this whole fic, I will have these characters with me. One is Miroku..

Miroku: Hello, will you bear my child?

Jinju: **Smacks him** The other is Sango.

Sango: ME! KYAA!!! WHERE DO YOU THINKY OUR HAND IS, HENTAI?! **smacks Miroku**

Jinju: **Sweatdrop** Then theres Trunks..

Trunks: Hello.

jinju: Then theres.. HIEI!

Hiei: Hn.

AN: I hope you liked this. This is my FIRST try, so no flames. Sorry if I made a LOT of grammer mistakes, because I am KOREAN! English isn't my first language! Please be nice!

Hiei: Why'd you call again, onna?

jinju: Oh yeah, another AN: If I make mistakes on the Japanese words, correct me.

Bye!