Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Unbalanced Pendulum ❯ The Erosion of Stone ( Chapter 7 )

Unbalanced Pendulum

Chapter 7: The Erosion of Stone

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Hiei's POV

It was raining again. Rain always reminded me of misery. The skies were crying. They had cried for me. They had cried for Kuronue and *him*. Why shouldn't the rain bring on feelings of hopelessness and the need to hurt? Maybe it's because I have a masochistic side - what the Hell - of course it's because I have a masochistic side, that I dredge up the worst of me when it rains. (Splish, splash.) If something is so terrible that the world must spill these torrential tears, shouldn't I feel terrible too? I could be in the prime of my mood and the rain would drag me down to the lowest of self-pities. (Splish, splash.) I would never cry my own solid gems to join the Earth's. I wasn't worthy. I would just remember why I should loathe myself and brood.

It had begun as a few small droplets that I had ignored. Shaken them off, as one should ignore inconvenient weather. But intuition told me this rain would be terrible, that it wouldn't stop for hours, maybe days. And here I would be, trapped, with no purpose in genesis rains. Yet I traveled on. I didn't want to stop for this rain. Somehow, I knew that if I did, I might not be able to start again. And I had no idea why.

*He* was silently padding along behind me. Nigh eight days and he still hadn't spoken a single word to me. However nothing about him led me to believe he disliked me at all, which confused me the most of all his antics. If not because I killed his lover, then surely he should hate me for steeling his freedom. He was an animal spirit for the gods' sake! He should want to tear me apart, quite literally too, for capturing his soul! And yet he was no longer even cold to me, only silent. Impassive, perhaps, but not aggressive or uncaring. I was at a loss.

Then it began to rain harder. The drops were still light but were high in number. My apathy had begun to set in. (Splish, splash.) I think *he* noticed. How one can notice apathy from walking behind a person who hasn't spoken a word for hours, I don't know. From him I learned how many things I didn't know. He increased his pace for a few steps until he was nearly level with me. And then continued at my set pace. I wouldn't look at him. I didn't want to see what was written on his face.

Another hour passed and the rain had become blinding. It stung against my skin. I could feel myself sinking into my depressed well. (Splish, splash.) I didn't want to stop. I never wanted to stop and hide from the rain. It seemed more right to just continue on, driving senselessly through its cold, wet, and now painful barrage. Doing that, I thought, would be more respectful of these tears.

I nearly forgot the ghostly white presence beside me as I ran, faster and faster. (Splish.) I could feel myself spinning out of control and I knew I had to stop or else what little control remained to me would be wrenched forcefully from my bleeding hands. By myself this was fine. I could outrun the rain - I had done it before. But *he* could not. And the harder I pushed my speed, the closer to his limit he came. I couldn't leave him far behind, or have him press too hard against his breaking point. For I didn't know exactly how he would interpret his promise. Would he fall behind and still follow, or try to follow and fall? If I waited much longer I would collapse, gasping, into my suffocating oil spill. And I couldn't have him see that.

I stopped abruptly, sliding a few feet in the mud. My chest was heaving more than it should have. I focused, for a moment, on calming myself. Then, I felt a light pressure on my shoulder. (Splash.) Surprised, I looked up into his face…and almost wilted.

He was gorgeous in the rain. Skin pale enough to be nearly white. Even in this cold there was no flush to his cheeks. Stray strands of hair clung to face and neck, making me realize how fragile the locks really were. His expression was soft, not truly concerned or aloof…just wondering, curious. The long fingers lying on my shoulder were light and uncompromising, only heavy enough to get my attention and…perhaps…give comfort? In my state of rising pain, faced with *him*, I was so confused. And, suddenly, I felt terribly young.

"Should I make us a shelter?" he spoke. The forest's trees were thin in this area, little protection could be offered by their branches. I could do nothing but nod. …He spoke.

He removed his hand from my shoulder and it left me hungry for the small heat it had provided. He walked a short ways off the path that I had been forging and began molding the plants to his preference. I had seen him create similar short-term dwellings for himself and Kuronue during my time observing them. This was the closest I had ever been, though. I could see him clearly. He was playing with the flora as if they were children to be cared for and rewarded, coaxing here, growing there. I almost forgot the rain.

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Kurama's POV

To be genuinely worried and yet pretend that I wasn't, while all the while planning to kill on the most basic of levels. A pretense built atop a lie that was convincing enough to fool the liar. It was dangerous. The same current that held afloat the fool's raft could also sweep away the liar. For I was just that, genuinely worried for this little demon.

His aura had begun to deepen in color with the first scent of rain. And his speed had increased, almost recklessly. Now he had ceased running and stood still for ten minutes. All the while his aura was nearing true, impenetrable black. That's when I stepped in and touched his shoulder. I didn't know what I was doing, really. I only knew that I didn't want to see his aura that color. He didn't startle, only his head rolled to look at my hand then his eyes blinked upwards to my face. They were so listless and distant, his eyes, when they looked my way, gradually focusing as they traced the contours of my face. I nearly smiled, but clamped down on that impulse before I could. I knew my behavior confused him. I had to keep him off balance to open his mind to me. But too sudden a change would make him suspicious no matter what state he was currently in.

It was the rain that had caused this. And so I would get him out of it. "Should I make us a shelter?" I asked. He nodded wordlessly.

It was easy enough to construct. The littlest sliver of power was required to cause the near vegetation to grow and meld together into a makeshift dome large enough to comfortably house the demon and myself and thick enough to keep out the rain. I ducked inside the small entrance to smooth the inner walls and ceiling. The ground was still annoyingly muddy within the shelter so I grew a few twigs into bench-like logs as well - rather wet wood than wet soil. I stepped back outside and found the demon where I had left him, watching me.

Hardly shy, I knew the state my thin, white garments were reduced to in rain. No doubt he had noticed my near-nakedness, but did not seem in the frame of mind to notice. The longer he was isolated in the rain, the more he withdrew into himself. Now it was my turn to wonder. How had an assassin become so accomplished with a weakness such as this? Surely this wasn't the first time he had been caught in the rain with a target. In fact, it was raining the day he killed Kuronue…

I nodded in his direction, gesturing for him to come with my hand. He ignored the bench, opting to sit with his back against the wall exactly opposite the door. Knees pulled to his chest, arms around his knees. He looked so forlorn. My chest ached and my curiosity burned to see him this way. I wanted to know why and how he had survived with this…condition (for that matter, what this condition was). But even stronger was my urge to comfort him. So small and young in a way that Kuronue had never been. There was a deeper consciousness beneath those eyes that attracted me (Kuronue forgive me).

I settled onto my stomach on the long bench, head resting on my folded arms. Too gone was he to notice my watching him this night. Three hours must have passed without a word. Nothing was unusual about that. Our rests were always silent. The rain steadily poured. I could feel the walls mulching under the assault. This wouldn't do at all.

I urged a vine to extend to me from the wall, placing two seeds in its grip and sending it crawling up to the ceiling. A number of thin creeping stems sprouted and wove their way through the structure, sprouting a mixture of sticky, bulbous flowers and soft, cotton-like ones every half a foot. White Balsam to make the refuge a little more waterproof and Black Root (with a touch of youki) to solidify the walls. A soft sound made my large ears twitch. I trusted my plants to continue their work independently, choosing to focus my attention on the creator of that small whimper.

"How can you stand it?" his voice was soft and vulnerable, a tone I'd have never thought to hear him use.

"The rain?" I asked. He nodded. "To me…it signifies life. I am a manipulator of plants. I can hear them and they worship the rain. Without it, they would die…we would all die. It is something they celebrate and so, because of them, do I."

"Then why do you not dance?"

"I am their master, not one of them. Why do you not dance in the rain?" I watched carefully, hoping that my question wouldn't cause the demon to retreat back into his self.

"How can I celebrate pain?" He spoke with vehemence, seeming to attack me with the hopes that I would win. I didn't quite know of what he spoke so I answered the question straightly, without trying to figure out what it had to do with rain.

"By acknowledging it and moving on."

Silence once again fell. I think he was waiting for me to elaborate, but I didn't. What I had said was true, though not in this case…not for me. I caught myself before continuing that trail of thought. I had to be careful now. This was treading too closely to my raw heart.

"What is your name?" I asked. I was lucky to catch him at such odds. An assassin would not otherwise freely give their name to their captives. He looked up, startled a little at the seeming change of topics.

"Hiei."

"Hiei." I repeated it. Testing the word on my tongue. It was a good name for him. I decided I liked calling him by that name. "Hiei, I will not long be absent." He didn't even look my way when I left.

Outside, the noise of the falling water was multiplied tenfold. My ears folded back against my scalp in displeasure. I realized it would be pointless to try and find a body of water by smell, sight, or sound. But the plants would know. They were quick to aid their master. Not too far from here, a ten minute run and no more. Perfect.

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Hiei's POV

My mind had shut down and my body was not far behind. I didn't want to be here. It was one thing to be in these dreadful rains. It was so much worse to hide from them in here. But I could not move. Seemingly against my will I had ended up in here: wet, cold, lonely, depressed, resentful, hateful, …and scared. What was I scared of?

I felt strong arms surround me and I clung to their heat, not really knowing what was going on. My knuckles had gone white. If I could've pressed my entire self into that warmth, I would have. Phased straight into whatever was giving off such desirable warmth. I buried my face and hands in its folds, biting down when I could go no further. Taking the heat into myself if I could not enter it.

Then I felt the rain, loud as static thunder in my ears and hard as falling stones against my exposed body. This was right. The rain should hurt me. Just as falling, stinging ice should hurt me. Ice crumbling from an ancient land that had only ever known cold. The same cold that threatened to consume my fire and extinguish every flame. Fire, the antithesis of ice.

I went limp. This was right.

But I didn't fall. I was held. I should be falling, but I wasn't. I looked up for the first time since I'd felt the heat. White. Gold. There were no blues here. But there was wind and rain…and it was so cold! It doesn't make sense!

I was suddenly shaken from my hallucinations by warm water all around me. My eyes could finally see what held me…it was *him*. Rain was still splashing all around us, loud and unconditionally wet, but it was no longer the distraction it had been. Water was everywhere and I was no longer cold. I lay there bonelessly, floating in the warm water - no not floating, held. He was looking down at me with guarded eyes. His arms supported my weight but I was still drifting this way and that with the movement of the water like one does when bathing a child. And just then, I was content with being a child.

A strong wind scraped the cold across what of me was above water making me shiver. Warm hands cupped water onto my skin and worked it gently through to my scalp.

"Water is water," his voice was softer than I'd ever heard anyone speak to me. Yet it didn't blow away on the wind, the words were to me and only me. No other would hear them. Somehow, that made me listen all the more, "no matter what form it takes. The water that falls becomes the water that rests. And that gives life to this." A flower, a thornless pure white rose, snaked down his neck and wrapped around his upper arm.

"I won't let go. Right now you are safe, without pain. Right now is only now. Later, this resting water will ascend only to fall again and rest. It is continuous. You should never let yourself be caught within circles."

Thought after thought was formed in my mind only to die upon my lips before I could utter a word. My thoughts weren't making sense. There were too many contradictions, too many uncertainties within my head that I could find no stable ground. I was falling, but I couldn't be. He said I was safe, that he wouldn't let me go. But why…

"Hiei!" All the mismatched thoughts in my mind vanished. "There is only now."

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Kurama's POV

My heart had slowly begun to break.

Kuronue…

"There is only now…for we have eternity to remember the past …and what can never be…" I finished with a whisper. I hoped Hiei didn't hear me. He probably did.

Hiei…

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A/N:

A question for my audiences, would you prefer me to explain what's going on in each characters head or just give the basics and let you speculate?

The small lake was warmed by one of Kurama's plants (will be mentioned in next chapter - mentioned here so I don't get nagged about it).

Please give me honest reviews. I love feedback from my reviewers that helps me to improve as an author.

The Mathematical Guide to Yaoi:

Step 1) 3 <==8

Step 2) 3=8

Step 3) 38

Step 4) Repeat steps 1-3 vigorously.