Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Waiting To Live Again ❯ PART 6 ( Chapter 6 )

A gentle kiss wakes me to the morning light, and I open my eyes knowing that things aren't the same. The face above me burns into me with crimson eyes, makes me want to cry. How many times before has he woken me this way? I smile up at him, marveling at his perfect pale skin as I trace his jawline with the tip of my finger.

"Do you mean it?"

For a moment his brow creases in confusion, and then the look is replaced by one of clarity. He leans down and closes his eyes in complete trust and kisses me deeply, our tongues battling for dominance that neither one will gain. The searing ache this contact gives me is taken away long enough for him to speak.

"Baka kitsune..."

"Hiei..." I say in a warning tone. His expression grows serious, and he replies.

"With everything that I am... which isn't much..." He looks away, toward the open window. I reach up, and hold his chin firmly between my thumb and forefinger. I kiss him gently, quickly; nothing more than a mere touching of lips, but it speaks volumes.

"But it's more than enough."



~*~
"Suuichi," my mother is speaking to me, and I'm slightly surprised by the sound of her voice.

"Mother?" My voice is just above a whisper, and grainy. The mechanical beeps and whirs of the hospital equipment seem to quiet as I concentrate on my mothers voice. It's been so long, I'm almost afraid to hear what she might say.

"Suuichi, I-I... I'm so sorry, Suuichi!"

Through my slightly blurred vision, I can see the tears fall, landing with a soft 'pat, pat, pat' on my right shoulder. I reach up slowly and wipe her tears away.

"It's not your fault, mother. Please don't cry."

"No. I should've realised... you... they were just rumors, and anyway it doesn't matter. You're all I have left, Suuichi. I can't lose you too..."

Adrenaline rushes through my aching body. It doesn't matter to her. She still loves me. It hurts to smile, and even more to cry, but I do both anyway.

"You won't lose me, mother. I promise you that."

Relieved crying permeates the silence and leaves the faint scent of salt and fear. And I hold my mother close as she cries like a child. The mechanical beeps and whirs that surround us keep rythm with my memories. I am almost choking on those memories, like something utterly disgusting is being shoved down my throat against my will. I can see it like it's happening right now, and the greying wood of the old 2x4 comes down in a swinging arc, and my world is pure black.
~*~



"Where were you?"

The question is met, as usual, with a sorrowful gaze and a lingering feeling of regret. I sigh dejectedly only to see Hiei open his mouth to speak.

"The Makai... but mostly I was in my head." At my inquisitive glance, he begins to elaborate.

"I was... not in a good place..."

"You don't have to sugar-coat it for me, Hiei." My tone comes out harsher than I'd meant it to. I put my hand over his.

"Kurama..." any remnant of a smile is gone, "I was considering suicide.."

This does not sound like somethign Hiei would do; he's stronger than that. He had always said that suicide was weak and that, if honorable, one would die fighting. I sit, staring at him in shock.

"I-I almost did it, too, but just as I was about to take the blade in my hand, I saw your face. I tried to think of what I had done to you; tried to make myself believe you hated me, but I just... I couldn't..."

He collapses into my arms, hard tears rolling down his cheeks and hitting my chest. I smooth my hand over his wild hair as he clings to me. And it hits me: He trusts me; completely and fully. And this is a piece of him I haven't had before. For the first time since Hiei's return i've woken up knowing that things aren't the same; for the first time since Hiei's return, I've woken up with a smile on my face.