Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Whose Line Is It Anyway? Yu Yu Hakusho Style! ❯ Yusuke, Kuwabara, Hiei, and Kurama ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

I got really really bored and reread a humor fanfic by Carter Tachikawa. It was her Whose Line Is It Anyway? FF7 Version. I got to thinking, How about a Yu Yu Hakusho version of this show? Heh. I amused myself with the idea, but I finally decided to try it out. Now for disclaimers 
 
Whose Line Is It Anyway belongs to whomever created the show (I don't know who it was), All Yu Yu Hakusho characters respectfully belong to themselves, but also to their creator Yoshihiro Togashi. Shin and her demon side Inu Kodoku belong to me ('cause she is me), Ryuka belongs to herself, but she's one of my characters. Any random original characters are mine. 
 
A/N: This is my first time doing one of these things -.-() So please understand that it may not be perfect and if the characters seem to be OOC. Relax, it's just a show and they're just expressing their humorous sides. Some of them demanded a good pay for doing this though. Anyway, on with the show! I use both the British & US games. Warning: there might be course language, crude jokes, and such other things. 
 
* * * * * 
Shin: *sitting at a desk with a mug of tea beside her* Hello ladies, gentlemen, youkai, apparitions, and such other creatures. Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway? with the Yu Yu Hakusho cast. The show where everything is made up on the spot and the actors are awarded points after each game, but the points are as worthless as Suzaku's pet demon bird Murugu. *Laughter* In the end I pick a winner and they get to do something special with me, while the losers are locked in a towel closet together *laughter* 
 
Murugu: *flys over and pecks Shin in the head* That's an insult! 
 
Suzaku: *From the audience* Murugu, stop pecking the authoress! *Murugu returns to Suzaku's shoulder* 
 
Shin: *wrapping a bandage around bleeding head* thank you Suzaku. Now down to business. This is our first show and here are our first four guests. Juvenile delinquent and all around tough guy, Yusuke Urameshi *Camera shot of Yusuke, who does his classic 'bang' motion*, I'm not ugly and can kick ass, Kazuma Kuwabara! *shot of Kuwabara, who flexes for the audience*, He's faster than a speeding bullet.. It's Hiei! *focus on Hiei, who looks a bit sulky*, and last but not least, the only person who can make plants a deadly weapon, our sexy fox boy, Kurama! *focus in on Kurama, who's holding a rose. Several girls scream and cheer* 
 
Fan girl #1: I love you Kurama! 
 
Fan girl #2: I want you Kurama! Be mine! 
 
Fan girl #3: Back off! He's my kitsune!
 
*A fight breaks out between the fan girls and they are silenced when Touya turns them into a block of ice.* 
 
Shin: Thank you, Touya. *the ice master sits down in his seat* Today's fan girl control brought to you by the Ice master, Touya! *applause* Ok. Our first game for the show is called "Whose Line", yep a game that takes after part of the show title and it's for Yusuke and Kuwabara. In this game they act out a scene and use lines that you, the audience, have chosen or written. Here are Yusuke's lines, and Kuwabara's lines *hands each of them a different top hat* Now in this scene, Yusuke is a prophet who appears to Kuwabara, an atheist, to tell him about his future life. You two may begin. 
 
Yusuke: *Pretends to walk in all strange like, making people laugh* 
 
Kuwabara: I'm getting the tickle feeling again... *laughter* 
 
Yusuke: Kuwabara... I am a prophet here to tell you about your future! 
 
Kuwabara: Prophets are bullshit, they don't exist, who are you really? 
 
Yusuke: *pulls out a line* I'm the ghost of your mother's aunt's grandfather's best friend's manager's daughter's cat's scratching post's lawyer. *laughter* 
 
Kuwabara: Scratching posts can have lawyers? 
 
Yusuke: Yes, they can, but they don't pay very well. 
 
Kuwabara: *pulls out a line* Bunny slippers are fuzzy and warm! 
 
Yusuke: I see that in your future! You will receive a pair of bunny slippers for your next birthday. *laughter* 
 
Kuwabara: How can you predict the future? You're not a prophet, 'cause those don't exist. The bible lies, so don't start up with the holy crap.
(A/N: I have nothing against religion! Please don't flame me.) 
 
Yusuke: *pulls out a line* I am the prophet of the holy non-denominational deity, that has no religion. *laughter* 
 
Kuwabara: Oh, well... *thinks* in that case tell me more. 
 
Yusuke: You shall pass that math test you've been studying for since the fourth grade *laughter* 
 
Kuwabara: *pulls out a line* Animal crackers are God's way of showing he loves us! 
 
Yusuke: I thought you didn't believe in that stuff? 
 
Kuwabara: The animal crackers changed my mind. *laughter* 
 
Shin: *Rings the buzzer, laughing* five hundred points to Yusuke for the fake predictions and one thousand to Kuwabara for the animal crackers changing his mind. *laughter, pulling out a bag of animal crackers* Our next game is called "Let's make a date". Hiei, you're the contestant on a dating show and the other three will be your choices. Each of the three will get a card telling them how to act. Let's begin! 
 
Hiei: *Adopting a girlish voice* Hello bachelors, it's so nice to be on this show and meet you. Hello, Bachelor number one. 
 
Kuwabara: Hey, what's up? 
 
Hiei: The sky. Bachelor number one, I love long walks on the beach during a full moon, what do you enjoy doing? 
 
Kuwabara: *A magician trying to get out of a straight jacket before getting dropped into a pool* Well, I enjoy doing death-defying acts and right now I'm trying to finish up one. *has arms wrapped around torso and is struggling to pull them off* Stupid thing, untie! 
 
Hiei: Wonderful! Bachelor number two. Are you there? 
 
Kurama: Hai. 
 
Hiei: Bachelor number two, My favorite animal is chickens, what do you think of chickens? 
 
Kurama: *slowly turning into Yoko Kurama, who is concerned with animal rights* Well, i think they're an excellent animal, *voice changes* And an excellent source of protein. They're fun to eat. *changes back* They lay eggs and are fun to raise. 
 
Hiei: Excellent. Bachelor number three. I love movies, would you recite some lines from a movie for me? 
 
Yusuke: *A drunken Noah ranting about his life* Movies? I've no time for movies anymore. *hic* not while I'm on this holy crap mission to build a damn arc and collect a girl and a boy of every damn animal on this planet. But here's one from Dogma. 'So, Noah was a drunk and look what he did.' I hate that line, who wouldn't be a drunk with that mission. 
 
Hiei: Um... I love that movie. Anyway, Bachelor number one. My fetish is bondage *laughter*, what's your's? 
 
Kuwabara: *struggling to untie self* Bondage is ok, but it's easier to do a trick when you can get out of it! *fall on the floor, still trying to get out of the invisible straight jacket and making underwater noises* 
 
Hiei: I'll come back to you on that. Bachelor number 2, I love fur coats. Do you love them? 
 
Kurama: Fur is very nice and warm. *Voice changes* You murderer! Fur coats and scarves are more evil than me! *Voice changes back* Shut up! *Voice to Yoko* You shut up, you fuckin' animal killer! *his voice keeps changing as he argues with himself* 
 
Hiei: *blinks* He's scaring me... On to number three. Bachelor number three. I love the water, don't you? 
 
Yusuke: *hic* Oh, I'd love the water... If I hadn't been stranded in a boat on a bottomless and vast ocean for days upon days by the god damned rain! Has he looked in the bottom of that ark? No! Who's gonna clean up that mess down there?! *laughter* The skunks are driving me insane and I got bitten by one of the raccoons! I've been surrounded by water and animals for so long I hate all of them. I'd like to skin them alive. 
 
Kurama: *As Yoko* Animal hater! *attacks Yusuke, who stumbles around drunkenly as Kuwabara continues to roll around trying to get the invisible straight jacket off all the while, the audience is laughing their heads off.* 
 
Hiei: What's going on back there? Are you three alright? 
 
Kuwabara: *finally frees self from the straight jacket and pretends to swim up* I'M FREE! *prances around merrily* 
 
Kurama: *sits back on the stool* Sorry about that ruckus. *voice changes* You would be, mama's boy! *voice goes back* Shut up, thief. *argues with himself again* 
 
Yusuke: *laying on the floor passed out from the beating and alcohol* 
 
Shin: *Presses the buzzer a few times* So, Hiei, who would you choose. 
 
Hiei: Definitely not the ranting drunk over there *points at Yusuke who is pretending to snore* 
 
Shin: Can you pinpoint who he was? 
 
Hiei: Noah, that drunken ark builder. He snores, too. 
 
Shin: Correct! Yusuke, you can get up now. *Yusuke stands up* What about the other two. 
 
Hiei: Bachelor number two kind of scared me. His multiple personality disorder caused him to argue with himself a lot. 
 
Shin: Do you know who the personalities were? 
 
Hiei: Kurama was just Kurama, but his other was Yoko, who seemed unusually concerned with animal rights. 
 
Shin: Right on, Hiei. Though, Yoko isn't usually that concerned. What about the last one. 
 
Hiei: Bachelor number three was bound, too bad he wasn't gagged, and was trying to do a magician's trick, and ended up in water. 
 
Shin: Hmm... That's good enough. He was a magician doing the straight jacket and pool trick. *applause* You all get seven hundred points, but Yoko gets eight hundred for the violence *laughter* Time for commercials but don't go away, 'cause there's more Whose Line on the way. 
 
*Commercials run, but then it goes back to the show with the four boys in their seats and Shin at the desk eating pocky* 
 
Shin: Welcome back to the show. Our next game is Props, this is for all four of you again. Yusuke and Hiei will be a team while Kurama and Kuwabara are a team. Here's your prop. *hands Yusuke and Hiei a large, squeaky, blow up mallet.* And here your prop. *hands Kurama and Kuwabara a large bouncy ball* You may begin! 
 
Yusuke: *hitting Hiei with the mallet* Gremlins on the ship! Kill it! 
 
Kuwabara: *throws the bouncy ball at Kurama* Pokeball go! 
 
Hiei: I shall now demonstrate how to subdue a pervert. *pulls the mallet out of nowhere and beams Yusuke over the head* 
 
Kurama: *holds up the ball* Anyone up for a game of Mega Four Square? 
 
Yusuke: *hitting the ground with the mallet* Oh, I've been working on the railroad, all the live long day! 
 
Kuwabara: *sitting on the ball* Hi-ho Bluey! *falls off* 
 
Hiei: *holds up the mallet* This is what you use when smashing watermelons and pumpkins. 
 
Kurama: *inspecting the ball* this is no ball, it's the egg of a very rare giant eagle. *pretends to see the bird* AAAAAAAA *runs away* 
 
Yusuke: *hits the mallet to the ground* Order! Order in the court! 
 
Kuwabara: *Kurama's rolling the ball after him, singing the Indiana Jones music* Why do they always use rolling boulders as a trap?! 
 
Hiei: *hitting Yusuke with the mallet* Kill the lawyer! 
 
Kurama: *holding the ball up* I am Atlas, anyone care to hold this for me while I take a leak in the bathroom? *hands it to Kuwabara* Sucker! 
 
Shin: *Presses the buzzer while laughing* A million points to all of you! Especially you, Hiei. I'm sure the ladies loved the demonstration of subduing a pervert. *ladies cheer and laugh* 
 
Hiei: Yusuke was the perfect example to hit. 
 
Yusuke: Hey! *pours a glass of water over Hiei's head* 
 
Shin: Now boys, no fighting in the studio. Do it later. *Yusuke and Hiei sit down* Our next game is Scenes from a Hat. All four of you are in this. Line up at the back of the stage and when you want to say something walk to the middle of the stage. I will pick suggestions out of a hat *gestures to the top hat on my desk* and you must improvise something. The first one is... *pulls out a piece of paper* Places were you wouldn't want to go on vacation. 
 
Yusuke: Check out the new hot spring resort in Makai! Where the crime rate is so high a new number had to be invented. *Buzzer* 
 
Hiei: Visit the newly discovered Cannibal Island! Where the main course of every meal is human flesh! *buzzer* 
 
Shin: Next one... Houses you wouldn't want to live in. 
 
Kuwabara: The Hut... Marvel at it's wonderful aroma of hay, mud, and animal dung! Only one story. *buzzer* 
 
Kurama: The Cardboard box; Summer home of champions. New locations in downtown Tokyo and the outback. *Buzzer* 
 
Hiei: Maze castle, now nothing but a pile of rubble. *buzzer* 
 
Suzaku: *from the audience* It's being rebuilt, so shut up, midget! 
 
Shin: *presses the buzzer* Hush, Suzaku. Next up, People/Creatures that wouldn't be the fifth member of a tournament team... 
 
Yusuke: Go Murugu, peck out his eyes! *Buzzer and laughter* 
 
Murugu: *pecks at Yusuke's head, but Shin shoos her back to Suzaku* 
 
Hiei: Kuwabara, try to stay in the ring this time. *buzzer as Hiei dodges a punch from Kuwabara* 
 
Kurama: Team, this is our fifth member, the chiuahuah from the Taco Bell commercials. *Buzzer and laughter* 
 
Shin: Styles of fighting that would never be used, but might end up in a future volume of Ranma 1/2 (Owned by Rumiko Takahashi).... 
 
Kurama: Chopstick-fu! *twirls some chopsticks* *Buzzer* 
 
Yusuke: I shall beat you at the ancient art of Dance-fu! *Buzzer* 
 
Hiei: Behold the wonder of Math-fu! Haha!*buzzer* 
 
Kuwabara: I am a master of Music-fu *buzzer* 
 
Shin: And I am the master of DDR-fu (Dance Dance Revolution)... A thousand points to all of you, but double that for Kurama because he used two of my trademark quotes spoken by me. That was a great game for our final game of the show will be for Kurama and Hiei. It's called Moving People! In this game, Kurama and Hiei act out a scene, but cannot move at all. Instead two audience members will come down and move them as they please. Who shall we pick from the audience. *Walks up the stairs and stops at a female fire demon* Ryuka! Why don't you go down and move Hiei. 
 
Ryuka: Sounds like fun. *stands up with a stretch and heads over to where Hiei is* Hiya Hiei! *smiles at Hiei* 
 
Shin: You two can talk after the show. Let's see, you there! *points at a brown haired girl* Shizuru, could you go move Kurama around? 
 
Shizuru: Sure, why not. *stands up and walks down to Kurama.* Hey little bro. Nice acting. *laughs* 
 
Kuwabara: *turns red* Sis! Don't embarrass me! 
 
Shin: *returns to her desk* Ok, in this scene, you, Kurama, have just caught Hiei cuddling a bunny plushie and he's trying to cover it up. begin! 
 
Kurama: Hiei! *Shizuru crosses his arms* Was that a bunny plushie? 
 
Hiei: *Ryuka moves his hands behind his back* No! No! I would never touch one of those fluffy things! 
 
Kurama: Then what were you doing with this! *Shizuru has him pretend to grab something from Hiei and hold it up* I don't think a bunny plushie would have much use when you're training. 
 
Hiei: *Ryuka chuckles as she puts his arm up in an old german salute* I was going to sacrifice it to a Hitler statue. Heil Hitler! (A/N: No, I don't support Nazis, but I found this very amusing.) 
 
Kurama: *Shizuru puts his hands on either side of his face and he gasps* You're secretly a Neo Nazi youkai?! I know what I must do now! Destroy! 
 
Hiei: *Ryuka puts him in a fighting stance* Bring it on, fox! 
 
Kurama: *Shizuru places Kurama in a fighting stance* Anytime Neo Nazi midget! I will not allow you to revive Hitler's evil ways. 
 
Hiei: *Ryuka moves Hiei forwards to attack Kurama* 
 
Kurama: *Shizuru moves Kurama's arm so it pretends to hit Hiei in the head* Boot to the head! 
 
Hiei: *Ryuka pushes Hiei to his knees* I surrender! I admit it! I was cuddling the bunny plushie! Is it too much to ask to have some time alone with a fuzzy stuffed animal?! 
 
Kurama: So you're not a Neo Nazi? *Sweatdrops as Shizuru places him in a fighting stance with one of his legs up and his arms out* Then I cannot use my technique of the crane on you. 
 
Hiei: Hell no, Hitler sucks. *Ryuka makes him lay down in the yoga corpse pose* But this floor is comfortable. 
 
Kurama: In that case, I'm off to the clubs. *Shizuru turns Kurama around so it's as if he were going to walk out* 
 
Shin: *presses the buzzer several times* Nicely done ladies! two thousand points to the actors and one million for each of the ladies. Well don't go away, the winner will be announced after this commercial break. 
 
*Commercials run, but then stop* 
 
Shin: *Standing in the middle of the stage* Welcome back. Tonight's winner is Kurama! *Kurama is sitting at Shin's desk, looking relaxed* He not only gets to choose the last game of the show, but he also calls the shots for this game. Heh. So what'll it be for the three remaining actors and me, Kurama? 
 
Kurama: *Twirling a pen in fingers* How about Bartender? We haven't done anything musical this entire show. Three of the contestants sing in turn about their problem and the bartender sings a solution back to them. 
 
Shin: Great choice. Who's going to be the bartender? 
 
Kurama: You are. The other three will sing about their problems. Do you think we can assign problems for them? 
 
Shin: I don't see why not, it might be fun. heh. Hey Audience what should Hiei's problem be? 
 
Koto: He should be in love with his dragon! 
 
Shin: Oh, that's a good one! *laughs* How about Yusuke? 
 
Keiko: He thinks he lost his spirit beast, but he's really on his head. *Puu sits on Yusuke's head* 
 
Shin: That would be perfect! Ok, last but not least, Kuwabara. 
 
Shizuru: He's developed an obsession with cats! 
 
Shin: *nearly falls over laughing* That's perfect! Do you agree, Kurama? 
 
Kurama: Hiei's in love with his dragon, Yusuke lost his spirit beast, and Kuwabara has an obsession with cats. That sounds good. Fire away. 
 
Shin: *stands behind a prop bar table with three stools in front of it* 
 
Yusuke: *walks in and plops self down on a stool with Puu on his head* 
 
Kuwabara: *Sits on the next stool looking at a photo album* 
 
Hiei: *Sits on the last stool looking at a picture and sighs* 
 
Shin: What'll it be, kid? *Looks at Yusuke, who points to the beer tap* No problem. *fills a cup with beer and hands it to Yusuke* You look down, what's the problem. 
 
*Music starts* 
 
Yusuke: *Singing* Today, I looked for my blue spirit beast, Puu. Yet, there's no sign of the little guy so what can i do? It depresses me because I became so attached to him. My mother said I should get a dog and name it Tim. That little guy has been with me since the Dark Tournament. I hated him at first, but now all I can do about it is repent. *starts sobbing into arms* 
 
Shin: *singing* Spirit beasts are a thing worth searching for. They are reflections of the deepest part of your core. I doubt that little spirit beast of yours is dead. And, kid, have you ever realized the weight on your head? When he comes back, show him that you really care. 
 
Yusuke: *sobbing* I will... If I ever find him I will! 
 
Shin: *singing* Then you should look in a mirror and you'll see him clinging to your hair. *points to a mirror near Yusuke.* 
 
Yusuke: *Sees Puu on his head* PUU! *pulls him off and cuddles him before walking away merrily.* 
 
Shin: *looks at Kuwabara* You look quite down in the dumps, kid. What's the matter? 
 
Kuwabara: *Singing* You may think that I'm crazy, but I'm obsessed with cats. There's nothing cuter in the world and I love to give them pats. But sadly they always run away from me every time I approach them. I buy everything that has to do with cats and I even own ten. I'd do anything for a cat, even beat up an old woman. For any sort of cat, I'd even sleep with a man. 
 
Shin: *singing* This obsession is quite unhealthy for a human. I suggest that you find yourself a woman. Cats are a great pet and all, but they smell and they claw. They shed all over houses and they're a big pain to delouse. So take my advice if you don't want lice. Go and get yourself a girl that's nice. 
 
Kuwabara: I will. *stands up and walks out of the scene* 
 
Shin: Well, kid. *looks at Hiei* What's your story with that picture of the dragon? You look depressed about it. 
 
Hiei: *Singing* This is a picture of my beloved dragon of the darkness flame. I'm saving money to buy the beautiful picture a frame. I'm in love with this creature, but it won't take a physical form. I have no where to live because of it, so I hide in my friend's dorm. All I can do is stare lovingly at the picture and wish it were alive. Then I'd be so happy that I would jump and jive. 
 
Shin: *singing* As I said to the second guy, you need to get a girl. That dragon may be beautiful, but it can't even become real enough to twirl. If you love it so much, why don't you go and find it? But even if you told the creature your feelings, all you would get is bit. So settle down with a nice female who can love you back. Hell, that'd be easier than any dragon you could track. I know a fire demon that would fill that void in your soul. She used that same attack you did, but it makes her whole. Our own little dragon girl, Ryuka. 
 
Ryuka: *Has her black dragon wings, tail and ears out* Yep, that's me! *skips down to where Hiei is and walks out* 
 
Hiei: My dragon is in her... I must follow! *follows out the same door Ryuka did* 
 
Shin: Such weird characters come into my bar *sighs* 
 
Kurama: *presses the buzzer several times* 
 
*The set disappears. Hiei and Ryuka emerge from their hiding place, Kuwabara and Yusuke walk from their chairs to the stage, Kurama walks to the middle of the stage as well, while Shin stands in front of them, the audience is cheering and applauding* 
 
Shin: That's our show, hope you enjoyed it and good night! 
 
* * * * * * 
 
That was my first attempt at anything like this. if it seemed slow, feh, the next one will be better, if I get some good reviews that want me to write another show. Well, Hope you enjoyed it. Please review! 
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