|
| "Rose, tint my world" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Title: Another masterpiece
Reviewed By: Rogue Girl [MediaMiner Member] On: August 17, 2005 21:01 CDT
Comment/Review:
Wow, though I was a little miffed that you started another fic while in the middle of Frailty, I am going to trust you to be able to handle both at once and understand how you couldn't let a great idea get away. This was truly inspired and I love it so far. You have a gift for suspense and you are able to make the reader almost as anxious as the characters to see what will happen next. Great job and I look forward to seeing more.
| Title: FFRG Review Ch. 1
Reviewed By: Sueric [MediaMiner Member] On: July 13, 2005 12:00 CDT
Comment/Review:
First let me start by saying thanks for submitting to FFRG. I just gave your first chapter a read-through and wanted to note a few things. The first thing that I really noticed was that I had distinct difficulty following your formatting, and while it appears to be intentional, it would actually be easier to follow if you were to double space between every paragraph. Done in this way gives an almost congested feel overall that is daunting to many readers. Awesome job with dialogue. I felt as though it was true to the show. The only thing I noticed grammatically (and this is something that an editor would say) is that the use of caps is completely unnecessary as well as a little distracting, as well as multiple punctuation to emphasize your words. A speech tag works in the instance where the gist of the line delivery doesn't come through. In a well-written piece like yours, it tends to stand out a little more than it normally would. Overall, I have to say, this is a very strong, strong chapter. Thanks for submitting to FFRG, and best of luck with your writing!
|
|
|
