Title: FFARG Review (chapter 1)
Reviewed By: xfiledino [MediaMiner Member] On: September 01, 2005 20:35 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ok, let me see... this is very... interesting! Well, you asked for spelling help, so here I go. 'Myouga wen through...' is that supposed to be went? 'No garantee...' should be guarantee. 'Andrea and shocked smiling...' should that be had instead of and? 'Yen can get over...' um, not sure, could Yen be a name? Ok, that is all I see at the moment in Chapter 1. I think this is a creative approach, but it could use some more descriptions. Describe what the producer and other workers look like, maybe what all the InuYasha characters are wearing. It just seems so cluttered and rushed. Slow it down a little and use descriptions to let us see what you are talking about. Since there are two of you writing this story, you should be able to beta read for each other. Also, what writing program are you using? Microsoft Word is a great program because it does spell check for you. The only problem you have to worry about is if you are using the correct word for the sentence. Thank you for submitting this to the FFARG!!!
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