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| "Loveless Temptation" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Reviewed By: _Dream_ [MediaMiner Member] On: November 24, 2005 22:36 CST
Comment/Review:
Pwease......update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update, update. Thanx!
| Reviewed By: awsomeness On: August 22, 2005 03:49 CDT
Comment/Review:
update as soon as possable or else..or inuyasha words "There will be hell to pay" :) hehe good story up date soon
| Title: error
Reviewed By: Zach On: August 15, 2005 12:02 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
you forgot u said Miroku's windtunnel was gone after they beat Naraku, yet u had him use it against snake demon to save Sango...overall i like it so far..
| Reviewed By: Zackzman {not signed in} On: August 14, 2005 13:47 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well, for starters, this story has a very good storyline. But, I agree with Kichi, you need to take more time to write about their feelings. One more thing, Kagome would never say *fucking*. Please continue story.
| Title: chapter 1
Reviewed By: Kichi [MediaMiner Member] On: August 13, 2005 21:28 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
I liked that Inu Yasha fought off Kikyo, but, Ok, It was too rushed. The more developed way to go is by showing more character emotion and internal thought etc, that makes for more drama on the upside as well. if you had spent more time this could have been better. it one has potential, you have good ideas, but there is too many events and not that much description, like I said, more character analysis, internal thought, angst all that. You chapter one could have been stretch into five chapter with just more description of what;'s going on outside and inside the characters. I don't know, I hope I didn't sound too harsh, I' m not trying to, I'm just trying to give constructive criticism
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