Title: Oh my Goddess!
Reviewed By: RainbowPretear [MediaMiner Member] On: March 02, 2006 13:12 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
WOW! That... was... pret-ty-HOT! You gotsa some words that should be one and some that should be two. (eg. "up right" should be "upright.") Also, don't use so much dialog in one area. Try squeezing in some actions and descriptions. They'll enrich your writing a LOT! I'm learning to do the same thing, so that's how I know. By the way, no offense to you personally, but Joey and Seto pairings have become EXTREMELY cliche'. Again, not your fault;I'm only suggesting a shot at a less commonly written about couple. (eg. In my FanFic "Ca-Si-No!" is the pairing of Bandit Keith and Serenity. Pedophilic, but I think I made it HOT!) Oh, sorry. I shouldn't advertise my FF on your review. -.- SORRY! Heh heh... All in all, it was a great plot!
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