Title: FFARG review chapter 1
Reviewed By: Sari-15 [MediaMiner Member] On: November 28, 2005 20:33 CST
Comment/Review:
Thanks for submitting to FFARG. The first thing I noticed is it seemed to be a little hard to follow. Sometimes it makes it easier to stay in one persons point of view. Pick a character and create the story through their eyes, using their emotions, their thoughts, their reaction to the world around them. If you are jumping from character to character from line to line it makes it hard for anyone to see what is really happening. Don't forget to show and not just tell the readers what is happening. Staying in one persons point of view can help do that too. By using your readers eyes, movements and thoughts about what is happening--it can really help everything come to life. Especially when writing an action scene (which this primarily was) If you are jumping from character to character, you can't see what is really happening---things move too fast. You have the makings of a great action writer, you just need to learn the basics. Keep up the good work.
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