"Unbridled" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Title: FFRG Chapter 1 Reviewed By: Dee-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 04, 2006 20:48 CST Comment/Review: I think that this was a fantastic short story. Things actually happened. In the grammar and spelling sense "Unbridled" was very well done, and it had a excellent sense for commas, giving the story a good overall flow. The beginning was a bit repetitive, though. If I remember, it mentioned something about "chance" twice, in the first line and in the following one, where synonyms or some other phrase could have suited and avoided that repetitiveness. I also complement you on keeping Sesshomaru in character. Great job and thank you very much for submitting to FFRG! --Dee
| Reviewed By: Cyndi [MediaMiner Member] On: March 04, 2006 02:05 CST Comment/Review: Yet again you've taken an episode and turned it into a fantastic internal monologue. I love authors who can believably get into Sesshoumaru's head and write him properly! You're a rarity and I commend your talent.
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