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| "Running Up that Hill" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Title: Regret
Reviewed By: TMcCaine [MediaMiner Member] On: October 31, 2005 16:07 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Kigome's regret, she was so strong in the episodes I have seen I wouldn't expect her to break like this. Although, eventually we let our regrets throw us down like that. I am not an Inuyasha fan, I have seen several episodes and I don't hate it. Character development in that story is slow and it's nice to see someone take it this one step further. I will say that from not knowing how the show ends, and assuming this is representative of that end, I would believe Kigome would suffer like this. She did have a lot of emotion for that stubborn fool, but he had his own issues. It's good that you took the story from his point of view in describing her decision in contrast to his feelings. He was a hard case and tough to see into as it was. Through the introspection I should say I had only one issue, organizational time usage in the story. I wasn't sure what was introspective and what was current, and the time was possibly better portrayed through the end with the countdown, although the other concerns weren't from a lack of countdown. Perhaps they're from my ignorance of the story line, and some of these things aren't as necessary as the end, but that was the only issue I did have. It was a nice introspective and I can see the symbology with the song you wrote this from.
| Title: FFARG Review
Reviewed By: MissMusicality [MediaMiner Member] On: October 29, 2005 01:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
Awww, now I'm sad! (But I think that is probably the effect you were going for.) You have an excellent little one-shot here. Full of angst, and deep thought. I like it. You have great description, and good reasoning for why Kagome's options just never seemed to be good enough. There was obviously thought put behind this idea, and that just doesn't happen often enough! I would suggest that you get it beta'd, though, because the only flaws I saw were those of grammar and punctuation. Those can be easily fixed, but they were, unfortunately, fairly numerous (though each was very small!), so I'm not going to place them all here. I'm sure your beta, or even you, can find them all after looking through it once or twice. But other than these minor little flaws in punctuation/grammar, you have an excellent and emotional one-shot. Great job, best of luck, and thank you for your submission to FFARG!!
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