"Too Much Heaven" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Title: FFRG: Review of Chapter 1 Reviewed By: Dee-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: February 21, 2006 15:09 CST Comment/Review: There was a string of severely disappointing grammar and spelling errors(i.e. L2 "different"; L5 "forward"; L5 "Its"; Ln 16 "wasn't" and so forth) that could easily have been fixed with a caring read-through; however, "Staying Alive" was good! Things actually happened, and the plot seems to be well-planned out. It's not wishy-washy and seems to know where it's going. Another enjoyable aspect of chapter one was the very believable version of an older Batou. All best wishes with your writing and thank you very much for submitting to FFRG! -Dee
| Title: :D Reviewed By: Lady Morrigan On: October 26, 2005 22:38 CDT Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: Hey, well alright, you did get the dog's name lol Hmm...well, I think you got the Major's persona about down, just remeber, she was a bit cagey with Batou, but she opened up to him, and him only. So...she's pretty cold, very robotic if you will, but keeps him close, or closeish...he gets her, you know, understands her, and she tells him a few things at a time. After all, he is her closest friend. :) About their relationship, it always seemed to me that she saw him more as a friend than anything else--he was the one in love, not her, imo. Well, anyway, update, update!!!!
| Title: mmm....Batou :) Reviewed By: Lady Morrigan On: October 26, 2005 22:28 CDT Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10 Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review: Very good!! BTW, Batou's dog is named Gabriel.
|
|
|