|
| "Variety" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Title: FFRG Review
Reviewed By: LadyLark [MediaMiner Member] On: March 27, 2006 20:43 CST
Comment/Review:
I have to say I have an unfair advantage while reading this fic. I read it for the contest, before you submitted it to FFRG. I have to admit I liked what you did here. I think the action flowed well and I liked the touches of humor thrown in there. I think the emotional side of things was well done. That being said, I found Heero a little out of character. However, it is not distracting just something I noted. I did like the one sided attraction, I think that is a refreshing change of pace from most of the Heero/Duo fics out there. All in all, other than the two things Muse mentioned earlier. I think this a great fic! Thanks for submitting it to FFRG!
| Title: FFRG Review
Reviewed By: MissMusicality [MediaMiner Member] On: January 03, 2006 01:07 CST
Comment/Review:
Hey, great job! That was a lovely one-shot. It started out with a nice, comedic feel...very lighthearted. Then, you threw in some emotion, and even some action! And finally, you round it all back down to the light-hearted joke that you started with, mixed with emotion. All in all, your story went full circle, and that's good. Well done, very well written! I did notice some small grammatical things. For instance: "I grinned the size of Texas as the old chair came tumbling down, taking Heero with it." This sentence doesn't make much sense. Try, "I grinned a grin the size of Texas..." Also, you say "wrecked havoc" in the story, when the usual term is "wreaked havoc." Other than these, you seemed to have looked over your story very carefully. The descriptions and details were awesome, and so was the emotion behind the story. Great job!
|
|
|
