|
| "JJ prophecy" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Title: FFARG Review (Chapter 2)
Reviewed By: Yuugi-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: January 04, 2006 17:15 CST
Comment/Review:
This chapter was very good and enjoyable. I did notice, however, that there were places where a semi-colon could have been used instead of the comma because of the two independent clauses, and there were places where a hyphn should have been used because you are using two words serving as a single adjective before a noun. I also noticed a few typos. Other than that, I found your sentences flowed smoothly and your detail was excellent. Thank you for submitting to the FFARG!
| Title: FFRG Review Ch 2
Reviewed By: MissMusicality [MediaMiner Member] On: January 03, 2006 00:56 CST
Comment/Review:
Wow, I must say that you have great style in your writing. Your sentences flow, but at the same time they have a choppy quality to them, that leaves the reader feeling the intensity of the situation. Your descriptions are marvelous, and there were very few typos. I would suggest, though, that you go through and look specifically at comma usage. To be honest, I don't think you're using enough. This is strange, because most people use too many. However, many of your sentences have clauses running together, when they should be separated by commas, or some form of punctuation. Other than that, and the few typos I saw, great job! The story seems well-planned thus far, and your plot is interesting and gripping. Great job, and thanks for submitting this chapter to FFRG!
| Reviewed By: Fanilia [MediaMiner Member] On: January 02, 2006 03:03 CST
Comment/Review:
Nice chapter. I saw a couple of typos near the end but other then that nothing is out of place. You have grabbed my interest with some of the things you _revealed_. Again the chapter was as intense and as filled with emotion as the first. This was worth the wait.~Fanilia
| Title: FFARG Review
Reviewed By: Yuugi-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: December 06, 2005 13:18 CST
Comment/Review:
As with your previous story I reviewed, your writing style retains its tradmark detail and description. Your plot is well thought out and yout story sees it through all the way to the end. You have very good analogy usage which adds much expression to the story. However, I did notice a very small number of typos and spelling errors. A minimum of grammar and punctuation errors also exist. I also came across an awkward sentence or two. Again, I recommend a beta reader which can be found in the beta-readers list in the forum. I really enjoy your unique writing style with your impressive vocabulary skills. Keep practicing and I can see you going on to greater heights.
| Reviewed By: Fanilia [MediaMiner Member] On: November 09, 2005 01:34 CST
Comment/Review:
Wow that was powerful. I only noticed a couple typos. < -negitives out of the way. The story has me in its grips, not letting me go I almost screamed at the monitor when the chapter ended. I love a well crafted story that weaves images while I read. This story is doing that. I look forward to reading more.~Fanilia
|
|
|
