| "Love Hina: Unsaid Emotions" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] |
Title: I'm Sorry...
Reviewed By: Yuashu Katsuya On: May 20, 2007 20:34 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 2 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 3 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 2 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
I truly want to tell you good job. I do. But I can't. And I couldn't call myself a decent writer if I did. This story was poorly done. Your idea was good, but once again, I've read similar stories a thousand times. But don't feel bad. Most of them were also written on something of a 3rd grade level. But I give you a B for effort. At least you tried. My suggestion is to write outlines and plan before you start a story. Believe me, it helps you get everything straight. Another suggestion with dialogue is to add "he said" or "he exclaimed" with possibly an adverb. "He exclaimed vividly." It definitely helps with the flow of the story. Since I am not an author with MediaMiner (I work mostly with FanFiction.net), I'd like to give you my e-mail, just in case you'd like to chew me out. ^^; I'm brutally honest when it comes to writing, so my apologies. trumpeter987@hotmail.com Constructive criticism is the best way to get better at writing. I only hope I wasn't too harsh. Ja ne~
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Title: Very Good/Sad
Reviewed By: NaruFlip [MediaMiner Member] On: December 09, 2005 01:27 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Overall I must say that this is VERY GOOD and VERY SAD. I was very into the story and felt the emotions of Keitaro/Naru. In some places the writing was jumpy (past/present) and a bit confusing. The chapters seemed pretty short (I know it is a tough thing to get the story across and also write a lot), but you still did a great job in that short space. The spelling and grammar was off in some places. For future fics I would suggest proofreading or asking someone to check it before posting. I did like this fic a lot and almost cried. It definitely broke my heart - and that is a good thing. ;)
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Reviewed By: twilightsakura On: November 17, 2005 23:40 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is so sad but ...wow. It is so good.
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Reviewed By: 12toauf9o3jnm On: November 15, 2005 10:22 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
You are a very good writer. this is a very good fic. But it only seems to be a summary. Make it longer and more intense. Make kei's and naru's love grow stronger and deeper THEN will kei die. i think by putting the reader so deep into the story that when kei dies, there will be rain. LoL. Also, why is each chapter so short!? overall: DA BEST MAN!
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Title: Great Job!
Reviewed By: Dark Messenger Ninja On: November 10, 2005 12:57 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow, I must say I haven't read Fan-Fic. in a long time but this is very good!!! Possibly one of the best. My criticing comment would be to try and make it longer. XDDD and thats not really something that can be negitive. Awsome use of the chacters and great job!
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