Title: FFRG
Reviewed By: Bliksem [MediaMiner Member] On: December 26, 2005 13:06 CST
Comment/Review:
Thank you so much for sending this to the FFRG. This piece is so technically precise that I cannot find any grammatical or spelling error and the emotions that it conveys is remarkable. There are no general errors when it comes to this; the only mistakes that could possibly be there would lie in relation to the continuity, and I don't see any of those, either. I can only warn you of comma-usage. For example, "Speaking of memories, do either of you remember the time when I overslept, and did not rouse until eleven in the morning?" Because 'I' is not repeated before the 'did not rouse', there's no need for a comma after overslept. The second part of the sentence cannot stand by itself, so the comma should be removed. This is a fantastic piece of work, and I hope you do well in the contest.
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