| "Interitus" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] |
Reviewed By: Lyle Fitzgerald [MediaMiner Member] On: July 23, 2002 22:35 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
I respect your use of a conflict to draw the reader into the fic, but without character development in the beginning, I was confused and unconnected to the plot. Otherwise it was very enjoyable.
P.S. READ MY FAN FICTION! I AM NEW AND VERY DESPERATE! -Lyle |
Reviewed By: IceAngel [MediaMiner Member] On: November 14, 2002 16:09 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I believe I've told you this but I find your stories somewhat low on character and hurried but I really enjoy them regardless, keep up teh good work adn view my story cause I just put it up under the title..... hold on..... element force #1 (untitled) ANd you can review it, the whole damn thing |
Reviewed By: Psygirl77 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 12, 2002 19:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
Awesome job! i love it! i am going to print it out so i can read it more carefully... o also i finished chapter 2! Woo hoo! congratulate me! Anyways.. I have done all you have asked of me so far... TOMORROW! YOU TELL ME! hehe.. anyways...see you soon! ^_^ ~*~Mazdaaf~*~
*I am going to go by that name online for now on...hehe you can guess why!* |
Reviewed By: LadyArra [MediaMiner Member] On: May 09, 2002 17:34 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Since I got to see this in the beginning stages, there's not really much I can say, but:
I haven't read it over for a while, but I hope you took up on my punctuation suggestions. ^_^
Love how you're using the Latin in it; I wish I had a dictionary! Great plot line; even though you confide in me I still find myself surprised by some things!
^_^Arra |
Reviewed By: Dee-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 29, 2002 09:08 CST
Comment/Review:
Chp8
Without hesitating he drew his sword and plunged into the fight skillfully stabbing the demons as Myr picked off Shinma from above. Relena carefully made her way through the mess and finally reached the sorcerer's side.
I think there should be a comma between “fight” and “skillfully”…
*****
Besides the short chapters I'm pretty content with what you have so far and by the end of the story I think i'm pretty well "bonded" ^_^ with the characters. You're really good at weaving descriptions into sentences and this story has a great plot (like I"ve been saying). |
Reviewed By: Dee-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 29, 2002 08:50 CST
Comment/Review:
Chp6
“He's come.” Karagon said abruptly, shocking Relena out of her thoughts.
I think you meant to say "He's coming." though I may be wrong. ^^;;
First of all your chapters are too short. Have you thought about combining the chapers and separating the scenes with **** signs? Once again I compliment the plot and your writing style, though I still say we need more time to bond with the characters (ie the Garden Mage, Relena, Karagon). |
Reviewed By: Dee-chan [MediaMiner Member] On: March 29, 2002 08:33 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
“No!” cried Himinarth. Groggily he got to his feet. His sword had disappeared. Himinarth muttered a few mystical words and in a flash of light, a new sword appeared in his hand. Himinarth took a step forward and fell to his knees in pain and exhaustion. He must help his partner. Himinarth crawled to his feet, unnoticed by the two paladins of dyad Luna. Himinarth took two steps forward before falling to the floor.
That was somewhere in the 1st chp. Notice how many times you used Himinarth? But otherwise your style of writing is really good.
Spelling and grammar was superb. *I* didn't see any mistakes but I was too wrapped up in the story to really take the time to look.
For originality you get a 10. So far from the 1st and 2nd chps this has to be one of the best Originals I've read yet.
I enjoyed this a lot but for the 2nd chapter don't you think you sort of just jabbed us in there instead of building up on this? It *may* have been a sort of tear jerking dramatic scene had I gotten more time to "bond" with the characters but instead we just meet them right there out of the blue.
Overall it's an outstanding story keep up the good work and best luck writing. |
Reviewed By: IceAngel [MediaMiner Member] On: February 22, 2002 19:57 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Better than your friends, similar style but good anyways the chapters are still short but they are more fulfilling in your case.
well done.
Ice Angel
Fear The Frozen Wrath |
