Title: FFRG Review
Reviewed By: hostilecrayon [MediaMiner Member] On: December 09, 2005 20:37 CST
Comment/Review:
It is quite difficult to judge a song without being able to hear it. However, I'll do what I can. For cosmetic purposes, you may want to break up the verses. As they are now, they are a very large block of text, and there are a couple of decent break points that I can see. As for content, you never really explain why you feel the way you do. It's a little too much 'things are bad and horrible' without any reasons. You even go so far as to mention a specific day of the year without any real hint as to what happened. That leaves me feeling a little empty, as the reader is being thrown despair and agony, but they have no idea what they are agonizing over. I would suggest perhaps adding another verse between the first two with at least some explanation of what exactly is going on. As it is, I'm left to wonder: Did someone die? Did your boyfriend leave you? cheat on you? Did you get kicked out of your house? Disowned? It could be pretty much anything, and it's very difficult have sympathy for a vague notion of agony. Keep at it, and thank you for submitting to the FFRG.
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