Reviewed By: JaeFire [MediaMiner Member] On: December 17, 2005 04:28 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Your story has potential, and when I actually forced myself to read the text despite the difficult formatting, I found that it had promise. The problem? A reader can always tell an inexperienced writer from the way they not only write, but they format their words. I know it's probably not the case at all, and I can see that you have talent, but the fact that you didn't structure your words in the normal way (i.e. starting a new paragraph when the speaker changes, separating sentences into paragraphs instead of one continuous run-on) makes it seem like you're lazy, or that you don't care enough about your readers to make it easier for them to read. It sounds frivolous and elementary, but reading something that has a familiar structure (and no need to try to decode who said what since all the dialogue isn't clumped together with no paragraph separation) actually makes it much easier for readers to get into the story. Trying to figure out who said what, or even contemplating reading what looks to be one long paragraph, is annoying and it physically strains the eyes. With that said, I want to go on to say that I find this story quite interesting and very original, and I sincerely hope you continue to write more. If you find formatting boring and a waste of your time, or if you're simply not sure how to do it, I suggest finding a good beta-reader who will do it for you. If this review came out somewhat harsh, I'm sorry; I mean it only to be constructive criticism.
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