|
| "Piece of Her Wings" Reviews/Comments [ 6 ] | Title: Amazing
Reviewed By: EarthSong [MediaMiner Member] On: August 25, 2008 23:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Amazing! I love this story already! I'm positively hooked! What a cliff hanger the last chapter was.I can't wait for the next masterpiece, so please do your best! Eagerly waiting, Katherine
| Reviewed By: Linda D On: July 08, 2007 15:26 CDT
Comment/Review:
I love your story. You're very good at leaving clues, but still surprising readers with where the plot was going. It drew me in, but now I'm left hanging!! Please, please finish the story.
| Reviewed By: Alesyira [MediaMiner Member] On: May 31, 2006 12:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
Very catching story. You used incredible imagery and fantastic storytelling... I was convinced that the story was heading one way when you managed to make it twist in another direction, and everything slid into place. I love it! I sincerely hope you write more to this captivating tale. There are discrepancies with agreement between verb tenses, but it was easy to overlook in light of everything else you gave to this story.
| Reviewed By: sarah86 On: May 03, 2006 12:25 CDT
Comment/Review:
this story is sooo good. i hope you are going to update.
| Title: FFRG Review
Reviewed By: Pahhur [MediaMiner Member] On: February 12, 2006 18:38 CST
Comment/Review:
First off, I'd like to say... Darn you Sisi! This thing didn't have an x! >.<
Alright. Now Sisi is right about the tense changing, stick to one tense. And you do repeat several words in quick succession, the most obvious being the one Sisi pointed out. Otherwise you had beutiful imagry, and a very nice extended metaphor (Snake/Eden) going on. Good work and keep submitting to FFRG.
| Title: FFRG
Reviewed By: White_Winged_Atlantian [MediaMiner Member] On: February 12, 2006 00:48 CST
Comment/Review:
I think that you should make the spaces between your paragraphs bigger, that way the paragraphs will be easier to discern between the paragraphs. I noticed that you are switching between tenses. "Was, and had" do not mix with "are and is" you should go through and fix your tenses so that they're all in either present or past tense. Do whatever you feel is right in that, some readers like past tense only and others are more forgiving. the story is for you. You should name your main character sooner or say something other than she, perhaps refer to her as 'the woman' or 'the girl' describe what she looks like. This sets up a very good premise for a story and you have my congratualtions. Your grammar is good over all, you just need to work on those tenses. Keep it up, and thank you for submitting to the FFRG. ~ Sisi,
|
|
|
