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| "Learning Life the Hard Way" Reviews/Comments [ 17 ] | | Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] | Reviewed By: Lucient [MediaMiner Member] On: January 03, 2006 13:41 CST
Comment/Review:
I've never seen the story written from this point of view before. Your spacing has become a little better, but if you space between every conversation twice, and between every paragraph twice, it will be easier to read. I figured in the first chapter who is wife might be, and I hoped that's who she was. ((When you described the picture of his family on his desk)), so thanks for letting me know before anyone else. muhahahaa! Another tip for your story is, it seems to move a littl fast. Like When Sesshomaru just appeared to explain everything. I love how Mrs.Higurashi saw him in his natural form for a split second. But I do think the atmosphere and his entrance, and their talk could have been elaborated upon some more. The idea of this story is incredible, and I've never read anything like it. It's very good work, and I can't wait to see more. Don't be discouraged by any suggestions I make, because you're still a new writer, and you're developing. I mean, sheesh, read the first chapter of The Divine Prison, and you'll see I totally have room to talk. My writing was awful then, and didn't compare to yours at all, lol. So keep writing, good luck, and in my next AN I'll see if I can swing some readers your way. ;)
| Reviewed By: Lucient [MediaMiner Member] On: January 01, 2006 20:27 CST
Comment/Review:
This is brilliantly written! However, you may want to put a *spoiler* disclaimer on it. Alot of that stuff hasn't happened in america yet. :D I watched the movie in Japanese too. I love subtitles. :D Your descriptions are really nice. I love the background information you're giving. I hope more people come to read. :D
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