Reviewed By: trichloroethane [MediaMiner Member] On: April 01, 2006 08:51 CST Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10 Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review: Hm, interesting. This is a great fanfic and it's got a lot of potential, but I feel that it could do with some work. For example, it'd help if you used capitals for names, b/c it gets a little irritating after having to see careless punctuation and stuff after a while. I like the storyline, but it would be nice if you extended it a little, such as putting description of thoughts etc. It's because right now, the chars seem just a little 2D at the moment, and reading it is almost like a script...you know, 'He said...' 'She said...', so it'd be nice. Just a thought. But good job. ^^
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