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| "One Chance" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] | Reviewed By: Inu-chan13 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 21, 2009 23:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really enjoy the OOC-ness of Inuyasha and Kagome! Though the grammar wasn't too bad the spelling wasn't that hot. Nobody is perfect though and most spelling errors are difficult to take notice of in a story. I really liked this story, especially the corny ending ^_~ except for some of the words Inuyasha used like "Give me a chance to court you" rather than "Give me a chance to be with you" Personall I think it sounds better that way. Sometimes it helps to read the words aloud after you've typed them to see how it sounds. Anyway, great story! ^____^ I loved it!
| Reviewed By: Inufan4ever [MediaMiner Member] On: February 24, 2008 13:56 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like this story! Great job. Dont worry you dont suck. I really Enjoyed this story.
| Title: awsome
Reviewed By: Inuyashas_girl_kagome2007 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 11, 2007 15:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
this was AWSOME THE BEST I LIKED IT NO NO WAIT I LOVED IT
| Title: absolutely loved it!!
Reviewed By: blondee On: January 30, 2007 23:40 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i loved this story! it was so cute and SEXAY!!!! lol! please please PLEASE write a sequel. you're story is one of my favs! keep writing!
| Title: ???
Reviewed By: luna chick (nsi) On: January 11, 2006 18:30 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 2 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Overall Rating: 2 of 10 Comment/Review:
You're right about your grammar, but your spelling is worse. You need a beta or a spell check. The idea isn't very orignial, and the characters are verry OOC, but you have good continuity. It's not a bad first draft, but it can be greatly improved. The spelling is interrupting the flow of the story, and Kagome's OOC is confusing. First, she thinks she's being raped, and then she enjoys it? I have a hard time believing that she or any woman who took offense from a man trying to put his hand down her panties to allow two seconds later, just because. It does read like he's about to rape her, not seduce her. Perhaps not having that part in, or adding more of him seducing her before he puts his hands down her pants a second time might help. It also helps to show more than tell. Basically, don't tell me Kagome is scared, show me from her trembling or dry mouth. When you stop to explain what she's feeling is like someone reading a book to you and pauses to say, "Now pay attention to this next part because it's going to tell you that X killed Y." Also, Inu talks too fluently in this story. I can't think Inu would ever say court you, nor would he beg. He would demand. He's too proud. The last thing I didn't get was, If Kagome went to bed with him, why won't she be his girlfriend? She says she can't be seduced, but then what was the rutting all about? It's not coherent. It would work better if she says it was a mistake, a moment of weakness, that she can't trust him. I hope you continue practicing. There is potential in your story. This is meant to be a helpful critical review, and not a flame, so don't be offended. I'm hoping this will help you with your future writing.
| Title: one chance
Reviewed By: motercycle blondie On: January 11, 2006 13:58 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
this story rocked u should make a sequle or keep writing one shots. u r awesome. Ja ne *jessica*
| Title: nicely
Reviewed By: DaOnleeSam728 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 08, 2006 18:32 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
AWWW< It was beautifully done. I like.
| Reviewed By: TrinityK [MediaMiner Member] On: January 06, 2006 01:09 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I liked this story, it did not suck, lol. It was actually pretty good. You should extend it and make it into a fullon story with many many chapters, lol. ;-) -TrinityK
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