Reviewed By:InusDemoness [MediaMiner Member] On: August 16, 2006 12:45 CDT Rating(s):
Style of Writing: 2 of 10 Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10 Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10 Enjoyment Factor: 3 of 10 Overall Rating: 2 of 10
Comment/Review: I would say your grammar is okay, it's not the worse I've seen but it isn't the best either. The real thing you need to work on is the scene itself. There is no description in this story. Your readers don't know where the characters are or what anything looks like. You have to build a scene and all you did was write what they were doing and saying. By giving description you create the world your characters live in. Have you ever read a good story where the characters were just floating around in nothingness? Because that's basically what your characters are doing right now.