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| "The Mending Soul" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Title: The Mending Soul
Reviewed By: dude920 On: February 25, 2006 21:17 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
man u re great u should keep writting or grt kagome/sango please do it
| Title: The Mending Soul
Reviewed By: dude920 On: February 25, 2006 21:16 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
man u re great u should keep writting or grt kagome/sango please do it
| Reviewed By: alatero (nsi) On: February 17, 2006 12:44 CST
Comment/Review:
This is a great idea and it is well done for your first fic. If you are getting bad reviews and they aren't leaving comments, well that's just not right. I love this story and I love the idea, but I do have some ideas on how to make it better. Please note this is constructive criticism, and not merely me bashing your fic or writing abilities. I think if you have a beta that might help. You're story is well written, but it is a little choppy. The sentences are short and repetitive sometimes and that makes it kinda hard to read easily. You might also consider re-reading it and looking at it as though it is another author's work. There were many times while reading this story that something was mentioned that I wasn't even aware had happened. I do this too and I found that re-reading and looking at it as another's work instead of my own helped me to see the plot holes that I had. It makes sense to you that these things happen, but you have the story in your head. Your readers don't, so you need to be as descriptive as possible so we can follow easily and really get the idea of what is happening. Again, this is a great fic and I hope you continue to write. If you want to discuss anything I have said, you can email me at alatero@excite.com. Again, I am not bashing your story or your writing, but am trying to offer suggestions on how you can improve your writing and garner more reviews and happy readers. Please let me know if there is anything you want to discuss about this review. Have a great day and please continue writing!
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