Reviewed By: Kiyoko-Kiyone [MediaMiner Member] On: March 06, 2002 22:44 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 2 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 3 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
I shall now go over my ratings, because well, this is a review, am I correct?
Style of Writing: 2. You need to seperate your sentences, also when people talk; seperate those also.The prologue, o.O that was very hard to read, fix that please.
Spelling and Grammar: 3. I happen to be very obsessed with grammar and punctuation...I cannot stand when things are misspelled, and such. It is 'Krillin' I believe, not 'Krillen'. Also, you need to capitalize the character names, because they are proper nouns.
Originality/Creativity: 8. This is a very original fanfiction, so far that is. Only problem I have is that she, even though she is Brolli's daughter, she over powers the other characters.
Enjoyment Factor: 5. It could have been writen better, chapters longer. Be descriptive, that helps people get more into the story.
Overall Rating: 6. I had a problem with Brolli becoming friends with Kakarotto. There is no way in hell (excuse my language, please) that Brolli would ever become friends with Kakarotto, plain and simple.
This shall thus continue my review, do not take it as a flame, it was not ment to be one. But if you interpretate it as one, fine be my guest. |
