Reviewed By: Marine Brother Shran [MediaMiner Member] On: February 22, 2006 00:31 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 2 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
It's interesting, it's neat, it's provocative, howere there are some major, and I mean MAJOR things that you really need to work on. Your writing, that is fine, that is just perfectly fine. Your punctuation however, is left to be desired. Everything is literally run-on sentences, with no commas whatsoever. I suggest that you ask some of your friends, or heck maybe even your English teacher to give you some pointers on your prose writing. Anyways, for the rest of my review. I liked the ideas, and the overall description, but that's just it. It's just overall description. If you really want to captivate your readers, try to put in more effort into your writing. Heck, I don't even know what Micheal looks like. I have to use Kaoru's image at the moment just to even give me and idea of what he looks like. So if you can, give us an idea of what he looks like in the next update. Otherwise, this looks to be a promising fic. I'll be keeping my eye on this. Well anyways, that's all from me Cheers ^^ Ja ne
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