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| "Time to Learn" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Reviewed By: stupid girl On: March 02, 2006 21:35 CST
Comment/Review:
this is a oneshot?! damn... he practically rapes her, then the end. it was entertaining, but the ending was too abrupt.
| Reviewed By: mm-reviewer [MediaMiner Member] On: February 27, 2006 15:38 CST
Comment/Review:
I'm a blunt bitch so don't take anything I say personally. I wouldn't take the time to review if I didn't like your story. Firstly, you write well even though the characters are somewhat OOC. You make it believable...sorta. I do request that you please put a blank line between each paragraph so that it is easier to read on a computer screen. Right now, the text is all in one long block and it is irritating me. Secondly, Inuyasha was constantly connected to his father's tomb and Tessaiga through the pearl in his eye, so it was impossible for him to transform to full demon until AFTER Tessaiga was removed from his father's tomb. Going by canon, this story could not happen within the time frame you have given it. Yeah, yeah, that is a trivial thing to point out, but it is fact. You could change the time of this story to after Tessaiga was removed from the tomb and had to be physically carried by Inuyasha but before they met Shippou. That was still very near the beginning of the series and although Inuyasha was starting to like Kagome, he still didn't trust her and was edgy around her. And thirdly, what the hell?! This can't be a one-shot! I want more! Now! You can't just leave it hanging there, dang it! Please continue it!
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