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| "True Love Never Dies" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Reviewed By: staindgrey [MediaMiner Member] On: June 17, 2006 20:33 CDT
Comment/Review:
From the FFRG: Quite an intriguing plot you have established, but like the above review stated, there are quite a few grammatical errors you may want to fix in order to make the work seem more thought-out. Sometimes careless mistakes portray laziness, and you can lose readers. Just do a quick read through to fix any errors before submitting it and you should be fine. Also, it's just a personal preference, but I don't really like the word "wanna" being used in such intimate moments; it kind of ruins the feeling. But I liked your writing style- not too frilly and straight to the point. Plus, you portrayed Trowa very well in character, I thought. I'll be looking forward to said sequel with the child or Trowa and Lady Une. *tries to imagine what that would look like* Hmmm......
| Reviewed By: xenodephrun [MediaMiner Member] On: June 16, 2006 06:41 CDT
Comment/Review:
Great story. Trowa's not that OOC, just in the right places. But first, I noticed that this fic had a lot of errors. Please be patient and proof read it many times, so as to avoid small errors. As for the fluff and the Hentai, the scenes (All, including the Hentai ones) didn't emotionally stir me. I mean, their tryst on the beach should have been romantic, sweet, or highly WAFFy, but when reading it, it seemed to me as a romp, nothing more. Adding details, or at least strong words to express emotion would help a lot in that department. Love scenes, IMHO, should involve a lot of emotion, details, and... love. Good day.
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