Title: You put up the decorative fog walls?
Reviewed By: staindgrey [MediaMiner Member] On: August 18, 2006 15:18 CDT
Comment/Review:
"Oh Endymion, you forgot to eat dinner again, did you not?" Hahaha this was quite an entertaining story. I'm a fan of slapstick comedy and you definitely delivered. It's a good short read with plenty of humor to keep me entertained throughout it. As far as actual writing structure goes, it'd be better if you separated the paragraphs with lines in the first chapter like the second. Also, there were two little typos I found when I was reading, but I already forgot them, sorry. ^_^' Then, I'm pretty sure it's "heroes", not "heros". But other than that, well written, very short and concise sentences to bring out the best in the humorous parts. I liked it a lot.
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