Title: Just a tidbit of advice
Reviewed By: JadedRedemption [MediaMiner Member] On: August 29, 2007 21:50 CDT
Comment/Review:
Uhm, is this supposed to be serious? I'm not trying to be rude, and I was intrigued by how a Weiß/HP crossover would work, but this has almost nothing to do with either. It appears to be all about your perfect mary-sue character that has been thrown into tragedy and yet still comes out on top and changes everyone around her. There's no character depth and nothing available to "grab onto" as it were. It's a good concept I think, but you need to plan out your plot, characters and story a little better. When you say you're going to write about a certain anime, book, whatever, you should never have the main focus of the story be on your own character. The story should always focus on the main characters in the book or show, with your characters there in supporting roles, or being used as plot devices. You might be able to get away with them co-staring to one of the original cast, but I rarely see that done right. Kudos to you if you can pull it off, I'd be impressed. If you rewrote this as your own story and took it out of the fanfiction section you might just have a shot, but as a fanfic it feels sadly lacking. Try it with your own characters and a slightly altered plot and see how you feel about it then. Or try focusing a little more on the original cast and see how you fare. For a long time I hated writing stories without adding my own characters, but then I tried moving them to supporting roles and then removing them all together, from some stories, and I found that my stories became even more fun to write. I was in control of what the Weiß cast did and thought and it was a great exercise in writing.
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