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| "Infertias Son" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] | Reviewed By: gourrina_chan [MediaMiner Member] On: June 14, 2002 06:24 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Comment/Review:
Hmmm I wonder wherethe Nabiki had learn to cast any spells??? it might be intersting to let Nabiki beat up KUno for a change?? ^_^ As usual excellent job! | Reviewed By: Black Dragon On: June 01, 2002 17:23 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is actually pretty good. I found a lot of it weird, and I'm still confused as to where this "Navi" girl/thing came from, but I assume that's to be explained in later chapters.
I only have two real complaints; one, that you don't include a physical description of Navi, and two, that this new girl seems to be a standard, tossed in, no-real-personality-but-really-powerful-and-really-smart new character. You should give her a major fault or a bizarre personality trait (well, she does have the homicidal temper, but that's been done) to generate more interest in that character. Well, I'm also wondering why Ryoga's there. He's just... there. He's obviously playing on the home team now, but I don't see what purpose he's supposed to serve. But maybe you're trying to make him out as a good character. I dunno. | Reviewed By: kevin_schultz On: May 05, 2002 16:19 CDT
Comment/Review:
Intesting contract - question for you, though: how is Dr. Tofu protected? Currently, it wouldn't be against the contract to mind-control the good doctor into having him declare that any action by one suitor is 'normal', and any actions by all the others are 'abnormal', and thus illegal. (At least, this is the way I read it.) | Reviewed By: Gourrina_chan On: March 07, 2002 21:40 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
This story is great I never imegine a Keiichi with direction sense... |
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