| "Mistaken Illness" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] |
Reviewed By: cougiecat1 On: May 16, 2006 11:28 CDT
Comment/Review:
I really liked this chapter! :) Kagome's reaction seemed a little bit over the top, but that's my American viewpoint, and part of your story is illustrating how different the American viewpoint of acceptance and comfort (as long as the person stays a safe distance) is from the Japanese view of shunning and separation. It's good that you had Kagome at least mentally forgive her grandfarther. Really- AIDS is a brilliant excuse :) . . . it just would have been nicer if maybe it had been insane alergies or something.
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Reviewed By: golden_kitsune [MediaMiner Member] On: May 14, 2006 05:31 CDT
Comment/Review:
Meh, your apology is accepted...but now with the cliffie! *falls over, clutches heart*
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Reviewed By: golden_kitsune [MediaMiner Member] On: April 17, 2006 16:43 CDT
Comment/Review:
It's very good, I hope you write more soon, I want to see what jii-chan will say in his defense
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Reviewed By: cougiecat12 On: April 06, 2006 22:23 CDT
Comment/Review:
I'm sorry for the harshness of my previous review, and I wanted to let you know that my very first review (which seems to have been deleted) still holds. The review is/was ment to be constructive. It just means I'm expecting more from you!! :)
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Reviewed By: cougiecat12 On: April 06, 2006 22:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
bah.. you didn't advance the plot! What you wrote was ok, but it probably could have been done in 2-3 paragraphs, especially since much of the interaction wasn't incredibly origional. I like the fact that you are spending some time looking at Sango and Miroku- especially since I've always thought about Miroku's curse as basically AIDS. I guess I'm just bitter because I was looking forward to Kagome chewing her grandfather out-- and then skinning her knee at school. Basically- the shard in butt was funny, but distracted from the story. PLEASE don't make Miroku 2D in this story. As cutsy opener you could have a touching S/M scene around the campfire as they are heading back to the village, but have it be ruined by Miroku doing something stupid (on purpose). It would fit better.. or just start the story with a canned I/K fight and her jumping into the well where she skins her knee and runs straight to school. :) looking forward to the next update.
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Reviewed By: xxSilentBeautyxx@hotmail.com On: April 06, 2006 14:27 CDT
Comment/Review:
good start. i like the plot alot. its also wrotten well and easy to read.
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Reviewed By: Hanajima [MediaMiner Member] On: April 05, 2006 23:37 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Goshinboku is the correct way to spell it. And my brain is currently having trouble processing the image of Jiichan in a regular outfit. o_o Anyway...I can't say much at this point in the story in terms of writing and plot and stuff, but I will say that this is a very good idea. A fanfic with a message - that's very original, and I like how you're incorporating it using Kagome's disease excuses. Actually, I recently saw that movie in Japanese class (so sad! I thought it was great, though), and I think that it's cool that it inspiried you to write a fanfic like this. I'm looking forward to seeing how you handle such a weighty subject, and I'm glad that you have some comedy in these first few chapters. ^-^ I'll be waiting for your updates!
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Reviewed By: jbowman [MediaMiner Member] On: April 05, 2006 21:18 CDT
Comment/Review:
I just finished reading what you have written so far and really thought it was a cute story. The way you incorporated how Inuyasha and Kagome show their feelings towards one another in their own little way was very accurate. I love what your thesis is, how we shouldn't discriminate agaianst others for they are who they are. I agree with you that it is an issue in society that still needs to be addressed to. Great job! I'm looking forward to an update! (^-^)
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