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| "Because I'm Needed" Reviews/Comments [ 6 ] | Title: Finally some good sheelos!
Reviewed By: BlackCrimsonNinja On: April 28, 2006 16:53 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
That was cool. I've been waitng for some good sheelos action on this site for a while now and i'm glad that such a good writer like yourself finally made that choice! Keep writing, you kick so much a** it aint funny. I love you! XD! And i promise to never say that again! Peace out!
| Title: Ah, I see.
Reviewed By: YiffyOne* On: April 18, 2006 01:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Not bad! I see, so Zelos is undergoing the transformation now as well! I think it's horrible how Tai gets beat up for her dazzling scarlet eyes. Well, It seems that's all there is for me to read.... And it's a cliffhanger! Clever, very clever... You're a genius. An EVIL genius! I want to read more! Anyway, as you can tell, I'm all reviewed out, so It's a real struggle for me to flatter you with a super good, observant and insightful review like the other 4, but I'll give it my best. The thing I liked about this chapter was the way you captured Seres's 'snotty little brat, whom honestly believes the universe revolves around her' attitude. It honestly made me angry how stuck up she was. You make me feel many emotions when reading your writing, meaning you have full control over your readers' emotional state. When you have that, then you can pretty much manipulate them to do anything you want, namely review! It all just shows that you have talent. On a scale of 1 to 100, your writing's talent level is 87, in my opinion. I've never seen anybody go above and beyond 94, which is another person I've read, but you're fantastically close. I'd like to see you break the record, it would make me very proud. So anyway, loved this story, and reviewed it as I promised. I'm not lying when I tell you I look forward to more of this! But then again, I'll read just about anything you come up with, it's all so good. I'm very disappointed in myself, I know this review isn't nearly as good as the others, and there's really no excuse for that, suffice to say, I'm feeling a little under the weather all the sudden. Hope I'm not coming down with anything. I digress, though, I love this story as if it were my own, maybe even more. I know you have a verrrrrrrrrrrry busy schedule, and I don't want to take any time away from the importance that comes with your life's true responsibilities, but I can't deny it, I can't get enough of your writing! So please do write more, I'm eager to see what you'll do next.
| Title: Very nice
Reviewed By: YiffyOne* On: April 18, 2006 01:04 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hehehe. I believe I enjoyed this chapter as much as you did. And it seems Taimat is making som progress on Zelos... I wonder why he won't eat? Can he not taste the food? Is he so determined to preserve his beauty, he's become anorexic? I wonder... Anyway, I especially enjoyed the food fight... It was so cute, and you wrote it in a very charming manner. Sheena's denial is seeping through, at last. Poor girl... I remember how sad I was when Corrine died in the game... I actually cried, believe it or not. He was a cute, cheery, fuzzy little bundle of joy for me. I wonder how the romance will end out? It doesn't really depend on Zelos, but on Sheena overcoming her denial, and seeing Zelos for his true qualities. I just know he could be commited if he put his mind to it... He does, at times, seem like a man of honor. 'This is ridiculous! Why should I care about him? He's a perverted, idiotic philanderer and he's never gonna change!' You know, when I read that, an old saying came to my mind, and I think Sheena could really relate to it. It goes like this: "We like people for their qualities... But we LOVE them for their flaws." I think she needs to come to terms with that, and I know she will, eventually. I'm very curious to see what intricate, clever little way you'll do it, too. I've not said it yet, but your ways with plot, the tiny twists, the solid, safe climactic parts, to the draggy, purposefully foreshadowing ones, is so devilishly clever. It gives your writing style a lot of it's charm. I'm also seeing some character developement in not only Taimat, but noticed a little bit from Presea as well. Lol, I especially enjoyed the part where Raine cast a barrier about her and Regal just for the sake of not getting involved in a food fight. Then of course, I can perfectly picture the posse covered from head to toe in food whilst the two of them lecture on mindlessly about how immature and foolish it was. It's a hilarious image. Regal and Raine would make an interesting couple, I think, though I've never really noticed it before. See there? By reading your fic, you are helping me open doors to possibilities, invoking my mind, and all in all, captivating my imagination within the world of your fanfic. You get perfect 10s for that... Now let's see you go beyond that.
| Title: Dragons!
Reviewed By: YiffyOne* On: April 18, 2006 00:13 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Wow! How original! I love the way you've woven Taimat's past, it's captivating, makes sense, and sticks together nicely. Not to mention the fact that it's extremely cool. This explains why she has those beautiful maroon eyes... She's made a contract with a dragon spirit! I thought I detected a bit of an affinity between her and dragons in chapter 2... And, on another note, I love the way you've sort of made her character seem, in a way, pathetic. She's so very unsure of herself, a tad pessimistic, even what one would say caustic. And I see what you're doing here... The dragon's did not choose a hero, but one who may BECOME one, right? Excellent. You seem to be opening the doors to character developement well. And, I saw a tiny bit of that enchanting imagery of yours within this... It wasn't a lot, but a vague sparkle, just bright enough for me to notice. Also, I'd like to say that Zelos has got to be one of my favorite characters from the game... he's such a card! He looks like a fruit cup, yeah, but that just adds to how funny he is. I remember I always had him in my party during the game, just because he was such a riot to me. Not only that, but you've captured his sardonic behavior perfectly, and yet left doors to be opened. I remember when Zelos had those rare, uncharictaristic lapses in his normal, goofy behavior, replaced by the grim, almost scary seriousness whenever anybody got anywhere NEAR trying to haggle info on his 'secret' in the game, and I, to this day wonder what it was he was hiding. I just know, with that mind of yours, you've got something interesting in store for me, and you're building the suspense very well. I also hope to see Tai's mysterious, latent powers(which I know are present, somewhere), whether it be from her ethereal, mind-dwelling dragon partner, or from her own heart, I can't wait to see what redeeming qualities she will develope through her experiences travelling with Lloyd's crew. But I'm rambling... On to the next chapter.
| Title: Hahaha
Reviewed By: YiffyOne* On: April 17, 2006 23:36 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Lmao. The part when Sheena first woke up was HILARIOUS. You've seemingly captured everyone's characteristic's perfectly. Genis is a tad critical, but only with Lloyd, he's generally polite to everyone else. Presea is as emotionless as the game makers portrayed her. Regal is the most speculative, talking only when it involves revealing a contradictory statement only he notices. Raine is EXTREMELY in character, very intellectual, and also exceedingly skeptical. Lloyd is his usual kind self, and Colette is even kinder, and as peppy as ever. Zelos is the gayest guy ever straight, and you've perfectly portrayed his unbelievable, yet hystarical pretentiousness, and Sheena is the most well-balanced in personality; Kind, offset by strict when needs be. The best way to describe her personality would be prideful, and yet fair. I noticed no flaws in any character traits. I also hope to learn more about your mysterious OC, who seems to, more than anything, have a sense of purpose. If I were to define her characteristics in one word, it would be 'driven'. So yes, I love it! Now, on to the next chapter. ^_^
| Title: Very interesting.
Reviewed By: YiffyOne* On: April 17, 2006 23:01 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well, I must say, I see nothing about your OC that is not to like as of so far. I'm hooked already! The action was short, peculiar, but entertaining. I can tell this is your first, though. I do know, however, as good as you are now, the following chapters will get exceedingly better as I go along. I know this to be true. There's nothing wrong with it, it was just... well, short, and lacked the BANG that left me breathless when I read Only Time Will Tell's second chapter. I however, am curious to see how well you capture the characteristics of Lloyd and his entourage. The OC is interesting, and rouses one's curiosity. It seems as though something beyond the heavens is watching over this young archer...
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