| "Pleasure slave" Reviews/Comments [ 6 ] |
Title: your mum
Reviewed By: dbzinit [MediaMiner Member] On: September 14, 2007 15:31 CDT
Comment/Review:
wow i wasted about ten seconds of my life reading this bullshit
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Title: WTF still
Reviewed By: Kacey Cheeka On: September 01, 2006 23:18 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
yeah i think u did cuz in her story which is 45 chapters she has a metal collar thingy on and the collar shocks her if she tries to take it off and she is in a slave center with a plexy glass so people can see her but she cant hear them. The king also says that he has to many and Vegeta agrees to take her. and him having his way with her is pretty much the same as urs but wayyyyyyyyy more details. probably the only thing original thats urs is the name Angel and the prologue. read her story not like u havnt already and see everything its called Slave by Vegeta_goddess
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Title: i have not read that story so how the ... can i have copied it?!
Reviewed By: the author of this story On: August 19, 2006 05:38 CDT
Comment/Review:
i have not copied the story!! that one was one of my first story's so yes it is bad. BUT I DIDN'T COPIED IT!!!!!! i would never do something like that!! linw i didn't log in because i didn't fell like it.
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Title: WTF!
Reviewed By: Kacey Cheeka On: July 31, 2006 17:32 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 2 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Comment/Review:
not to piss you off but are you copying the story slave? The story your writing has all the events in the second chapter of the story called Slaves by Vegeta Goddess and i read her whole story. If you are copying her story, its not good at all im sorry. you need material of your own and not from other people! but its probably cuz you want to have a great story that you use someone elses so that you can do so but its not going to work!!!!!
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Title: a start
Reviewed By: MonkeyLady [MediaMiner Member] On: May 11, 2006 05:02 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 3 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 3 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 3 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 3 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
I am glad you are trying to write a fic, since I love to read. I would suggest that you try expanding each line a bit more. Add in actions with dialogue. Help the reader to visualize what's happening in the story. You might consider finding a beta since their job is to help you with ideas, expansion and grammer. Mine is very helpful. This is a fair start to what will hopefully be a happy writing hobby. Good work and keep writing.
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Title: PS
Reviewed By: Yami_hime [MediaMiner Member] On: May 10, 2006 08:24 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
whaha pleae allow me to laugh... It's really cool... And fun... Whahaha
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