Title: okay
Reviewed By: laa_girl [MediaMiner Member] On: May 08, 2006 18:31 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 2 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 3 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
i give you it was a nice try but you need to write it over, you see you had a lot of grammical errors and the story needs to be played out a bit slower with more detail so we can understand it and it draws our attention and enjoment, i understand it is you first and it was a nice try but i would consider doing it over i would read it if you did, and please the love scene was so voilent and they had just met why don't you leave time for emotional play? good try Laa_girl
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