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| "Innocence" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Title: Innocence
Reviewed By: Megan Consoer [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2006 02:07 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
| Reviewed By: InusDemoness [MediaMiner Member] On: May 14, 2006 11:33 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 3 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
Not a flame just some honest constructive criticism. Well first off it was written pretty well, I didn't find any spelling or grammar mistakes. My honest opinion of your story is just that, an opinion. You can take it or leave it, or take with a grain of salt. You should add "angst" in your genre code because this story is full of it. Inuyasha, Kagome, and Kikyou were all OOC (that means out of character if you don't know. In other words those are not their personalities.). I guess I don't have to tell you that Inuyasha and would never do that, Kagome would never submit so easily, and Kikyou would never ask for that. I don't see how any real Kikyou fan could agree with what you're having her do. Even though she tried to kill Kagome, Kikyou still considers herself a miko and to ask for the rape of another human being is just too low a level for her to stoop too. Plus do you really buy that she would want Inuyasha to have sex with Kagome? Another thing that puzzled me was how easily and roughly Inuyasha managed to slip three fingers in Kagome when a virgin opening is only, at the most, two fingers wide. I guess the only thing I can suggest to you is unless you really want to write these characters this way, you should try make them more believable by really studying up on them and understanding as much as you can about their personalities. That would make the story more believable in turn because right now it's very hard to see any of that happening because I know they're not like that. Or you could write your own original fiction. You could make up your own characters and give them the personalities that you want and that way no one will be able to tell you they're OOC. There's a whole other section of this devoted to original fiction so it wouldn't be hard for you to switch or anything.
| Reviewed By: blu_sunset [MediaMiner Member] On: May 14, 2006 06:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
awesome!!!!! what an evil Inuyasha you've created!! I like him more like this! I had never thought about Inu raping Kagome just because Kikyou told him! but the fact that in your fic Inuyasha loves Kikyou the most is great!! I'm a Kikyou fan, so that's why your fic rox!! updateeeeee!!!!! *kisses*
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