|
| "Since When Are There Two Potters?" Reviews/Comments [ 39 ] | | Pages (3): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 ] | Reviewed By: Stefni [MediaMiner Member] On: May 22, 2006 19:04 CDT
Comment/Review:
I'm really enjoying your story and Sasuke as a non angsty kid is so cute. I know Sasuke lost his magic but does he still have his chakra or is it the same thing here?
| Reviewed By: The Internet Wanderer On: May 22, 2006 01:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hmm...while Sasuke receiving the Parseltongue doesn't sound too bad, the Sharingan seems way over the top, and unnecessary. It would make some sense for some of Harry's gifts, like the Parseltongue, to be transferred to the younger recipient of his blood, but it makes little to no sense for anything of Sasuke's to be given to Harry. After all, Sasuke was joining Harry's bloodline, not the other way around. Let me stress that point a little, in case someone else disagrees. It wouldn't make much sense, and it would detract from the story. Otherwise, nice story. You need some work on commas, and the years may be going by a little TOO fast (would've been nice to at least have some notion of Sasuke's reactions at seeing his birthplace instead of just afterthoughts. And while on that topic...why not just apparate or port-key there, instead of spending the thousands(it'd probably be around $4000 USD for two passengers to Japan) of dollars to buy plane tickets?) But the story is cool, and I hope you update soon!
| Reviewed By: Skunktrain On: May 19, 2006 14:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
Sasuke's official birthday is July 23rd, just FYI.
| Reviewed By: um hi.... On: May 18, 2006 13:03 CDT
Comment/Review:
Whoa! You guys are confusing me with all the japanese lingo! anywayz, plz continue. This story is really great and chibi(ha! i know japanese!) Sasuke is sooo kawaii(another point to me! whoohoo!!!)!
| Reviewed By: NekoKaru [MediaMiner Member] On: May 18, 2006 00:30 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Cool story. I like the concept. I can't wait to see how you'll portray Sasuke during his later years(if you go that far), since a somewhat happy childhood would mean no more angsty teen Sasuke. I also like your writing style. I'm gonna go ahead and say 10s across the board, since I can't really find anything wrong. Never would have thought Dumbledore would...okay, that's a lie; I'd been thinking he was a manipulative bastard for a while now. I'm glad to see someone else shares those views *nod* Pairings...hmm...I can see where a mother(erm...or second-father? Do you write yaoi or het...bah, whatever. Both are fine =^.^= ) figure(or rival-for-affection figure, for that matter...that would be interesting) might be a good addition for Sasuke, but then just he and Harry bacheloring it up seems like it would work as well. Kind of strengthen that relationship they have even more. Anything is fine, I guess, as long as it doesn't turn fangirly(no offense) because the tone of this story seems a little bit too serious for throwing canon characters together for threesomes and the such. Eh...I can't really imagine any of the Naruto-verse males or females of that age group really matching up very well with Harry. I'd go into specific reasons for why none of the Kakashi-aged ninjas really match with him, but I'd run out of characters to type with before I was done. Stupid limit :/ Sorry I'm not much help on that front :/ And now for a little bit of a language lesson since you had questions(and trust me, this info is correct. My teachers would be pissed if I messed anything up :( )...The 'o' in front of 'nii-san' is just an honorific. I guess it could be a little more formal, but it's very unnecessary, like saying "omizu" instead of "mizu" when ordering water at a restaurant. As for suffixes, the "-san"(literally means mr. or mrs.) is put for more respect, like talking to someone you just met, or someone older, like your older brother(the connotation of nii-san is supposed to indicate one's older brother, though it's a popular trend in fics for elder siblings to refer to their youngers using this word too...and to be honest, so do Japanese. They don't follow their own language rules >.> ) The "-chan" is a more familiar way of addressing someone, and a little more affectionate, like how Naruto refers to Sakura as "Sakura-chan~". Aniki and Otouto are in fact what you think they are, and are perfectly fine to use. I actually prefer "aniki" as it sounds a little better to my ears...unless you're pissed, in which case "Niiii-saaaan" is quite amusing when said with a Japanese accent and a scowl. While it would be normal(and somewhat audibly pleasing, as 'Harry' in Japanese sounds closer to 'hurry' than 'hairy') for Sasuke to refer to Harry as his 'aniki' or '(o)nii-san', it would be kind've odd for Harry to call Sasuke 'otouto' unless he was telling someone what Sasuke was in relation to him. Instead he'd call him by name, or, if he wanted to make it more Japanese to make Sasuke more comfortable, he'd call him 'Sasuke-kun'("-kun" is really familiar and generally reserved for close friends, younger relatives, and sometimes student-teacher interactions). Either works just fine. Well, I hope that helps. If my poorly-explained...explanations confused you more, feel free to e-mail me any questions
| Reviewed By: mistylaugh On: May 17, 2006 18:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ni-san is more formal then ni-chan. Being two probably not much, however, we know that the kids in the Naruto verse mature more quickly then those of our world. IE Itachi being an ANBU by the time he was 13. So I guess it would depend on how fast you what Sasuke to mature and where you want the story to go. As for pairing Harry off I thought either Kakkashi or Iruka or maybe a threesome between them. Anyway there's my two cents. I love all your stories and have reread most of them keep up the good work.
| Reviewed By: LynnGryphon [MediaMiner Member] On: May 17, 2006 12:50 CDT
Comment/Review:
What I have seen in other works for brother is either: Onii-san or nii-san. You can drop the O to make it less formal (I think, I know the O can get dropped and mean the same). I'm guessing those two are right considering every story I've read with japanese 'brother' had that. Onee or nee = sister Okaa-san or kaa-san = mother (I think) Obaa-san or baa-san = grandmother And I have no idea about father -__-" Maybe I'm dreaming I'd love a Kakashi/Harry deal, although that would probably turn into humour since it is a Pervert/Harry deal. I think I'll keep dreaming for that one. Maybe Iruka/Harry? Iruka lost his family to the nine-tails when he was young, was generally ignored by everyone afterwards, took in the "demon" Naruto and gave him his only real "family", and teaches children at the Konoha Academy. Sweet but strong. Just a thought. Either way, great work and keep it up!
| Reviewed By: LynnGryphon [MediaMiner Member] On: May 16, 2006 21:51 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
YES! You have sooo gotta continue this please! *Puppy Eyes Attack* Toddler Sauske is just so adorbale! I'm guessing Naruto is slowly converting you considering this and your last story were Naruto related. Gotta love it when one of your favorite authors delves into your favorite fandoms (*admittedly shameless flattery :D ) So yeah, please continue this story!
| Reviewed By: Arye_elf On: May 16, 2006 21:32 CDT
Comment/Review:
heck yes you should continue!!!! when i read the summary I expected Sasuke to show up right after Itachi does his thing, but making him only a toddler is just so adorable! love it. I've been a fan of your stories for awhile and was thrilled when I saw you had a new story. soooo, can't wait for the next chapter, hope it comes quickly.
| | Pages (3): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 ] |
|
|
