| "Seduction" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] |
Reviewed By: Kakashisgurly [MediaMiner Member] On: May 28, 2007 21:04 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
You did really well, If you'd like I can probably help with the editing, but it is up to you, I'm not the best at it myself. You still did a really great job.
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Title: Not bad
Reviewed By: Kagome8955 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 08, 2007 19:42 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Your style of writing needs a little improvement when they are thinking try using ''. Spelling errors, I do them too. It was very creative and was super enjoyable. I like the fact you tried to Revise! Overall wonderful!
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Reviewed By: InusDemoness [MediaMiner Member] On: January 02, 2007 22:22 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 2 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 3 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 2 of 10 Comment/Review:
Am I right in guessing that this your first fic? Well you do need to work on your spelling and grammar. In the beginning of the story you wrote "ill" instead of "I'll". You need to capitalize words when needed. You also have a lot of run-on sentences. You're writing doesn't flow very well, it's very choppy. I suggest finding a very good beta reader to help you. Aside from those problems your characters are very OOC (Out Of Character). Kagome would never act like that or wear anything like that, which makes your story very unbelievable. And according to fandom rules, this isn't a one-shot if it's more than one chapter long. I don't think you should write a lemon or add a new chapter until you fix all the problems in the first one.
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Reviewed By: Kikyo_must_die2 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 21, 2006 17:56 CST
Comment/Review:
Wow, I'd like to see Miroku's reaction when he sees Kagome in that outfit. Update soon!
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Reviewed By: halfdemon_monk [MediaMiner Member] On: December 20, 2006 21:32 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
wow what can the halfings say excpet add more and damn kagome in that hell how inuyasha held on so long i'll never know
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Reviewed By: ashpea124 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 20, 2006 04:49 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
its sooo good update soon!
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Title: awesome!
Reviewed By: Shippo Gal 101 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 30, 2006 17:29 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
keep on writing!!!
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Reviewed By: Vandreador [MediaMiner Member] On: May 20, 2006 20:08 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
for your 1st fanfic, its GREAT!!!
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