| "Falling InLove" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] |
Reviewed By: Devil's Dance On: June 27, 2006 18:05 CDT
Comment/Review:
I have a few things to criticize about this story: First of all is appearance. It looks really unappealing because the whole chapter is is one great big gigantic block. Try to fix that. Maybe look at some other fics and see how everything is spaced out. There are spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes. Lastly, this story really has no meat. There are tons of stories with this same storyline, but that's not the point. You should try to put more descriptions into it. Use words that are more complicated. For example: "She got angry." is not as good as: "Her eyes, narrowed and her face became red. She was furious and he knew he was in trouble." Something like that. Good luck with your story!
|
Reviewed By: kaira2828 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 27, 2006 00:19 CDT
Comment/Review:
That was kewl so wait kagomes the hanyou or wait im confused anyway kewl story
|
Reviewed By: goodgirljay On: June 13, 2006 21:40 CDT
Comment/Review:
yah that was cool and i hope u get more than five reviews for that cuz it was good. yah it needs to be a little more clearer but it still rocked.
|
Reviewed By: loverluvsall On: June 09, 2006 19:53 CDT
Comment/Review:
Nice story I think u should make clear who is saying what cuz that kinda confused me though but other than that its great !
|
