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| "Mine" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Reviewed By: Lady-of-broken-shadows [MediaMiner Member] On: February 15, 2008 15:04 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
did you mean this to be dark and twisted? because i think it came out, for lack of a better word, a little fluffy. Through use of harsher language (e.g. make Zane eloquent to the extreme and switch to crude language when he talks about intimacy with Syrus), you can make the fic so much darker. On the other hand, if you wanted it to seem romantic, i think kt's rather sweet how Zane lets Sy stay with him for the night and takes care of him in the morning. Well, just a few things to think abot there... Godd luck, i would love to rerad more fics like this by you!
| Title: good!
Reviewed By: Silver Ookami [MediaMiner Member] On: September 10, 2006 20:13 CDT
Comment/Review:
I like it! I like to see Syrus in pain! Bhuahaha! Make one in Sy P.O.V or contineu it like a second storie, with the Slifer Slaker tryin' to save him, but Zane( Damn! He's hot! My boyfriend is kind of jelous,say that he can fuck my ass better)will win. So you can ending it in tragic!
| Reviewed By: Kinokomushroom [MediaMiner Member] On: June 23, 2006 04:51 CDT
Comment/Review:
lol- I have read more twisted things. Your writing is very good. ^.^
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