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| "...And Ever Widening Slowly Silence All" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Reviewed By: fel On: July 01, 2011 17:20 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm not the literature student I once was, and I don't feel that my comment will be very constructive. I would just like to express that I enjoyed the oneshot. This was a great, short read. I particularly admired the way you described the setting: very romantic. I feel that what I really enjoyed about this work was that you left out information and details that could have been included to make it longer or more elaborate, but which aren't essentially needed to tell the story. Less is more. | Reviewed By: adriannrod [MediaMiner Member] On: October 23, 2008 18:30 EDT
Comment/Review:
This story is hard to review. As usual, whith an especially well written story, I am having trouble thinking of how to describe such a unique and soulful fanfiction. THe reality of the battlefield, I could almost be there. I can almost feel Mustang's pain, and see how he acts. You give the characteres deep personality and depth. You don't make it fanservice, or anything. I should have reviewed a year ago, when I read this, but I wasn't able to express how it made me feel. Even now, all I can say is that this story is by far one of the best I have ever read, and I hope you continue to write, maybe even go get a book published. It is for stories like these that I read fanfiction, and I'm glad to have found this particular fic. Again, thank you for the inspiring read, and the best of luck with the rest of your life.
| Title: Bravissimi
Reviewed By: roku kyu [MediaMiner Member] On: August 24, 2006 00:52 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm not from the FMA fandom, having encountered this fic through other channels, but I had to come here and congratulate you on an absolutely magnificent story. Very seldom do I stumble across fic of any type, published original or fanfic, that makes me stop in awe at the author's skill. You've managed to reawaken my trust in the fanfic arena with this delicately wrought tale of the burgeoning friendship between two fragile "victors" of what seems to be a genocidal war. Every word is necessary, every description brings the central action of the story more to life, and your wonderfully understated restraint makes the emotional impact that much more powerful. I know nothing of you, not age or sex or level of experience, but trust me when I say that I feel as if I've read the work of a polished published author. As for the lack of reviews--perhaps not that inexplicable, since this story certainly doesn't fit in the middle ground that so many "fans" adore. There's no graphic sex, no ridiculously simplistic angst, and no wrapped-up happy ending. This is a profound story that makes the discerning reader think, and as such, falls far above the mediocre and thus outside the comfort zone of those who like to read and review the mundane. Congratulations to you and your betas, and please continue to weave your literary spells, review number be damned.
| Title: FFARG
Reviewed By: Shinashi [MediaMiner Member] On: July 24, 2006 16:50 EDT
Comment/Review:
You Have Been Reviewed pretty much summed it all up, but besides the five-star rating you so rightfully achieved, there were errors! Very, very, very few errors. There was only two problems with spelling and five against punctuation- none of which anyone would find worthwhile or distracting in the least. Your style of writing is simply the best- my favorite type- a fully fleshed-out one-shot that rides on a single idea until it is wonderfully complete. You detailed the horrors and people of war especially beautifully, added elements I would never have known of- "burning fat" for example- and the particular addition of military vocabulary filled me with a fan-filled emotion. (I enjoy stories of war.) What really excited me had to be the platonic relationship between Maes and Roy, though I usually only enjoy the innuendo of shounen-ai, for you I make an exception! You did your homework for this, and especially prepared for it with all your betas. Kudos to all to all of you. NON-FFARG- Where are the reviews for this?!!
| Title: You Have Been Reviewed
Reviewed By: You Have Been Reviewed [MediaMiner Member] On: July 19, 2006 21:34 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I cannot express in words how delighted I was to see another piece by Heathenesque in my inbox. My only regret is that I wish I'd had the time to tackle this one immediately - this is a stunning piece that will be going into my Favorites list. "...And Ever Widening Slowly Silence All" is a remarkable piece that immerses the reader in the horrors of war. This isn't watching it on television or reading a fact-riddled news article that spouts statistics. In this case, the 'numbers of dead', 'weight of bombs dropped' and other such material become irrelevant - to someone immersed in the war, they usually are. The number of beta readers Heathenesque used for this piece really paid off - I did not stumble over an error once in the entire story. Instead, I was swept away to a war-torn land and immersed alongside the characters. As I still haven't had a chance to read a lot of Fullmetal Alchemist, the fact that this diverges from the manga canon didn't faze me. I would hazard a guess, however, that it wouldn't faze a lot of the fans of the manga either; this story is so fully character-driven that it captures the moment rather than the scope of the entire series. I'll admit that I was initially very slightly concerned about the fact that this was written for a lyrics challenge. I have seen far, far too much 'songfic' on the web that fully abuses song lyrics and shows little in the way of the author's own creativity. I knew that particular extreme was not a concern with Heathenesque, but I did worry about the story being broken frequently by lyrics or having lyrics as dialog that seemed out of place. Those are stumbling blocks that a lot of writers - even more advanced ones - hit frequently when using song lyrics as part of their story. However, the lyrics turned out to fuel the inspiration for this story - the line of lyrics before the story began and the line at the end set the tone and base for the story beautifully and fully added to the piece rather than detracting from it. This is a beautiful example that I would be glad to link others to in the future as an example of how to do song-inspired fiction right. The absolutely gripping imagery of this piece cannot be fully explained; Heathenesque did a beautiful job of selecting words and descriptions that packed an emotional punch and let the reader smell the stench of war, feel the blasting of sand, see the dead eyes of a psychologically wounded soldier, hear the racket of wind and taste that acrid reality of war's atmosphere that never really leaves the roof of one's mouth. The descriptions helped bring to life the reality that even someone as seemingly solid and powerful as Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, can be devastatingly hurt by the battering machine that is war. I also found this piece to be poignant on another level - in our real world, torn by war and hatred, it's easy to forget that war isn't just five minute updates and random pictures on the television at night. It's easy to think that our soldiers go overseas, play campground, kick some foreigners around and come home. This piece is a powerful reminder that war isn't glorified Boy Scouts - it's real people, feeling real pain, and not all of them have a Captain Maes Hughes to help them through it. It's a reminder that the dead can never be brought back, the survivors must find a way to carry on despite their misery, and not one person walks away from a war unchanged. It's also a reminder that sometimes just being there is what a hurting person needs most. Kudos is awarded to Heathenesque for achieving the first full 5-star rating I've given. The full review can also be found in my LiveJournal: http://uvebeenreviewed.livejournal.com/5362.html
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