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| "Bound Together" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] | Reviewed By: Radio On: October 23, 2007 22:27 CDT
Comment/Review:
This is kinda random... (Story is still good. Although I would like a bit more discription of the girl. I know you haven't really gone into her (by the 15th chapter that is...)) Anyway. I was just thinking, maybe I miss-understood this, but if the setting is like in ancient Japan or something of that manner, then I don't think the'd use words like 'ass' and umm... 'bitch'. Again, something trival that I just happened to noticed cause I'm like that. Got the Chapter 15. I'll read more tomorrow. Good job so far! XD (Still love it! XD)
| Reviewed By: Radio On: October 23, 2007 20:42 CDT
Comment/Review:
HOMG!! Just finished Chapter 11(?) I think... That was sooo painful!!! Not the sex part.. Well I guess that part... What I mean is that I want Tai-Li to come and be a hero or yah know something corny like that... XD But yes. I will have to read Rei's sidestory... Still really good. It just seems odd to me that Tai-Shi would react that way when he discovers that he's been abducted by Rei... I think he woudl be way more scared and freak out... but I could be wrong. They way you wrote it was believale. (P.S. I think you may have said Ti-Shi once instead of Tai-Shi but that's kinda trivial...)
| Reviewed By: Radio On: October 22, 2007 23:07 CDT
Comment/Review:
Kay. I got to Chapter 8 and I think your only getting better. I nearly cried when Tai-Shi... Well, I'll tell you on Gaia in case anyone doesn't want to story ruined. Anyway, Just a few things. One time, in one chapter...um.. I think it was once when they were gonna go out and train, Tai-Shi was begging and you said something about his glass eyes and I just wanted to point out that you can only see one of them. I think there was something else but I can't remember it now... Anyway, I love it. Hurry up and get it published so I can take it to school and tell all my friends to read it. XD The cute parts are so cute and when Master Kay is punishing Tai-Shi I'm so terrified. I really did nearly cry. My eyes watered at least. And Rei is wicked good. I mean like, his character is really really well developed? Umm... Well I was terrified of him either way. You inspired me to write some of my own story... (which I hardly ever to so Kudos!) And I can't wait until tomorrow so I can read more!
| Reviewed By: Radio On: October 20, 2007 22:19 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Mmkay. I do like your idea. I've never read anything like it so I'm definently gonna read a least a little bit more. *has a really short attention span and forgets things easily* But there are a few things I noticed and they might just be because I'm a little bit OCD but here goes. First, in the first paragraph, when your describing the room where Master Kay is pacing, you use the word "Elegant" twice. As in you start consectutive sentences with it. I do like how it sounds but I, personally am not a fan of repeating words like that. Another thing, I found it a tad bit hard to figure out who was talking when (and that might be because I'm oblivious...) like when the various servants are reflecting on the son being born. Also, there are a few places where you could break sentences up a bit more and put some pauses in like umm.... when one of the servants was saying something about the baby's birth... (Man I'm sorry that was so vague...) And one last little thing was that I think Master Kay's anger is very pronounced and good and all but what about every one else's emotions? I think you could maybe kick up Tai Li (SP?) emotions a bit when he's first greeting his little brother maybe.... Other than that it was amazing! I like your details and descriptions. I could visualize the scenes, people and places easily and they all looked beautiful! I feel a bit bad about saying all these things I think you should fix when it was that good so I hope you don't mind! XD Also, I have only read the first chapter so I will read more and I'm sorry for making this sooo long!
| Reviewed By: Mischa_Pallas_Athena_Kitsune [MediaMiner Member] On: October 28, 2006 13:23 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
author* Sorry! I type in a hurry and spell things wrong! >.
| Reviewed By: Mischa_Pallas_Athena_Kitsune [MediaMiner Member] On: October 28, 2006 13:22 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Are we allowed to curse in our comments? Because I just want to say HOLY SH*T! I never knew you had an account in here! You should have told me sooner! I just got done reading the first chapter and I'm like: *wide eyes, mouth hanging open* You're too modest for your own good! You should be a published aithor by now!!!
| Reviewed By: krad_is_my_angel [MediaMiner Member] On: July 31, 2006 15:05 CDT
Comment/Review:
Since I'm not sure how to contact you, I suppose I just have to hope your ead this. I'm gld you enjoy the story so far, I have yet o read the shonen part of the story. As of now, it isn't shonen. I do hope you will continue to read, I enjoy writing it and I was beginning to wonder if no one liked the story so far. Thank you so much for reviewing, and being my first reviewer. At the current moment, I am editing all chapters, I have finnished Prologue-ch.3. I hope to see reviews later on. ~Angel
| Reviewed By: YORKIE-NESS On: July 31, 2006 14:59 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I am shocked that this hasn't already been reviewed. Shocked! Typically, I can't read anything that's close to shonen-ai but this is...different. You have a wonderful style of writing.
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