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| "Future Memories" Reviews/Comments [ 27 ] | | Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] | Reviewed By: Go Elsewhere On: September 02, 2006 12:39 CDT
Comment/Review:
I started this fic yesterday and finally caught up to you! ^_^ I have to say I'm enjoying it a great deal, but these last couple of chapters concern me. Not because they were badly written, but because Ed TOLD his mother what happened, which means she will probably try and change it, which also means that what happens to Ed and Al will turn out differently some how. Like if she gets treatment and doesn't die, then Ed and Al won't send out letters asking for Hohenheim to come back, and Mustang will probably never come looking for them, and he and Ed will never meet sending that relationship clean out the window. Or if she does die but tells them not to do human transmutation and they listen that would make it turn out differently as well. I can only imagine how much of the future they've already altered just by being there... Makes me even more eager to read your updates! ^_^ I love your depictions of the two Roys as well, and I can only imagine how hilarious it must be to Ed to see those two going at each other's throats all the time. ^_^ Ooh, I can hardly wait for the next chapters to see what you're going to do! ^_^
| Reviewed By: littleolmee [MediaMiner Member] On: September 02, 2006 09:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
*offers up iburphofen for sever writter cramp* Oh ZaKai. . . were do I start? Well, first damn it I got tears in my eyes from it. It was so touching, you really did a marvalous job on it. Your heart had to go out to Ed for all his pain and he was trying to answer he without having to come out and tell her what the future held. She's not an alchemist so some of the stuff was lost on her but she figured it out. And then Ed showed her his automail, it was so painful for him and her but I wonder if she really understands how he sees those metal limbs as the price of his sins and how it must have killed him to show her. (At least that is how he comes across to me at times when he has to show them off-almost as if they are like the red A puritans use to put on the clothes of adulters; wearing their sins for all to see) How he kept telling her it was his sin, his fault . . .was so heartwrenching. I'm sure Trisha will never beable to look at that armor the same after this. I liked that (o)Roy was able to help, lead her to her son, by telling her where he was. That was also very sad to have him at the cememtary probably imagining that someday in the future they would be laying there mother to rest there. It was the place where the journey began really so it was a fitting place for her to find out.(at least I think so)You did a excellent job ZaKai and you deserve a rest now. I give you the rest of the day off to recover your hand and rest your mind. (if only it was that easy right? sure you just tell everyone littleolmee gave you the day off i'm sure that will work. LOL!) All your hard work certainly shows, thank you for such a wonderful chapter.
| Reviewed By: littleolmee [MediaMiner Member] On: August 30, 2006 20:11 CDT
Comment/Review:
Don't worry about the chapter being sort of short ZaKai. I agree it is a great place to break for a little cliffy. No matter what has happened Trisha loves Ed, I like that you added that part. It showed a little more insight to her thoughts and feelings towards her boys. Just loved the twin Ed expressions part. Trisha doesn't like Ed's alchemist name, well the name is really heavy . . . sorry I just had to do it. Loved Trisha's thinking on why to keep the Roy's, especially (o) Roy, close by so she can yell at him if she needs to. You handled this whole TALK so well so far. I can't wait to see the rest of it. You certainly do a great job at expressing the characters emotions, keep up the good work.
| Reviewed By: Bombayoni [MediaMiner Member] On: August 25, 2006 18:04 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
omg.... I like this... I would like to see more at some point, but at your convenience... good story idea, great character manipulation- I mean interaction *grin* keep it up! btw, the ratings are just good because of the story
| Reviewed By: ShockWaveAlchemist [MediaMiner Member] On: August 23, 2006 19:37 CDT
Comment/Review:
I absolutly love this story, It's so interesting to figure out if they are going to be able to change their past... it was a good thing for edward to see his mother, I like that idea. and i love it when Edward tells on Ed, that was so funny! well keep up the good work I hope you update asap.
| Reviewed By: Child Xylia (I have an account) On: August 15, 2006 21:34 CDT
Comment/Review:
XD Haha, yes, you included more Al like I asked! Oh, Ed was SUCH a sweetheart in this chapter. You just want to snuggle him. As soon as Trisha thought that Alphonse was also in the military, I could picture the conversation that Ed and her will have. (When/If she finds out that Al's a suit of armor and Ed has automail, and how they're like that...I'll be a wreck.) :3 Oh, and when Alphonse laid the blanket on Edward and Roy? Precious.
| Reviewed By: oukathedemon [MediaMiner Member] On: August 14, 2006 23:29 CDT
Comment/Review:
THAT RULED. i think i saw it posted on onother site .IT is really cool.
| Reviewed By: Akyre On: August 14, 2006 22:20 CDT
Comment/Review:
I absolutely love this fic! And don't worry that every chapter has to be exciting. This stuff fleshes out the story and it makes it more realistic.
| Reviewed By: littleolmee [MediaMiner Member] On: August 14, 2006 16:14 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
ack!! please ZaKai I need more! chapter was a great little taste but I'm starving here...lol. Now that mom mind is starting to wonder...there is so many questions to be answered but it's good to see Trisha coming to some acceptance...she knows some people marry as young as 15 there in their town. also how much of a difference was there between herself and her husband...well that she knows about. I'm drooling just thinking of the next chapter.
| Reviewed By: Child Xylia (I have an account. Is it sad I just figured out how to review?) On: August 09, 2006 23:26 CDT
Comment/Review:
I've been checking in on this fic frequently to see if you've updated. =P I love it! It's a really good idea (though, perhaps you should involve Al a bit more? We've only seen him a little in this fic. XD). ^_^ Keep up the good work!
| Reviewed By: littleolmee [MediaMiner Member] On: July 24, 2006 10:43 CDT
Comment/Review:
hooray two updates on the same day! lol, boy (o)ed know's his roy doesn't he. loved how (o)roy was stressing his rank. lol *littleolmee pounds on desk* (o)roy was flirting with ed's mom! you get him (o)ed! *snickers* so liking older men run in the family huh? (o)ed finally put (y)roy in his place, wonder how badly (y)roy is going to frazzle out when he finds out (o)ed has been an state alchemist since he was 12yrs old. that chapter was great, i think i laughted through the whole thing. thanks again for posting on your b-day.
| Reviewed By: littleolmee [MediaMiner Member] On: July 19, 2006 17:34 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hello ZaKai, finally Roy Mustange makes the scene, and he is still in charge. lol, that was a good one. Roy against Roy was very entertaining. (O)Roy calling (Y)Roy stupid and (Y)Roy calling (O)Roy arrogant. Why does this fight seem similiar to those between a certain young blonde alchemist and an older commanding officer? (Y)Roy was checking(O)Ed out?! hmm...legal age is 16? Oh,(O)Roy you bad boy you! If and when (Y)Roy finds out about(O)Ed and(O)Roy there will certainly be words. Especially if (Y)Roy tries to step on(O)Roy's property again. That was another really good phrase. Can't wait to see how (O)Ed and (Y)Roy will act with one another. Well, great chapter once again. Please keep with it. This is a really entertaining and original story. I can't wait to see what you have in store for these characters. Love all the character interaction and reactions. Thanks again for sharing this story, take care and have a great day.
| Reviewed By: littleolmee [MediaMiner Member] On: July 08, 2006 15:46 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
it's me again ZaKai, hello and thank you for the update. you just started this story and your updating all ready! how wonderful. man, what a beginning! so well written. ah, so he and mustage are already lovers in this...interesting. ed was worried about how roy would handle everything, lol. he didn't seem to handle things to well himself. the interaction between ed and his mom was so sweet. hmm, his mother is getting suspious isn't she. okay the short jokes were just the greatest! being i suffer from the same problem ed does i can completely understand his height deficiency issues. lol, that scene about his gloves, hair and afterwards was just so funny. loved it. she doesn't know about her little boy being a state alchemist yet...hmm, wonder how she will react to that and all the other things. i don't think she'll get rid of at least the older roy if she beat him with a stick, especially if he and ed are lovers. well, another fantastic chapter ZaKai! thanks again for sharing this story with us. i really hope others will come out of hiding and take the time to review, your really do deserve to get some more nice reviews. keep up the great work, i'll be patiently awaiting another chapter.
| Title: is it bad? are you crazy?
Reviewed By: littleolmee [MediaMiner Member] On: July 03, 2006 10:40 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
hi there ZaKai, just came to media to see what i could find to read and i looked up your work to see what besides 'descent' i'd be interested in. this first chapter is such an original idea. it certainly has the makings of being a great fanfiction. i do hope you stick with it. the idea that trisha would meet her eldest son brought back from the future in an alchemic reation is fantastic. i'm interested in how she is going to react to seeing the automail her son has. as a mother that would be very hard to deal with, to know your child will lose both an arm and a leg. older ed getting to see his mother again, after at least for him, she has been gone from him for so long is another part i'm looking forward to. *snickers* two mustages...there is such a thing as too much of a good thing you know. LOL. *sighs* poor ed, two roy mustanges. older ed seeing al again will be very touching i'm sure...well at least after al gets the moustache and beard wiped off. well take care and thanks for posting this, i'll keep a look out for when you post more.
| Title: mistress
Reviewed By: maid scarion On: July 02, 2006 19:36 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is really, really great! Such a cool concept. I can't wait for updates!
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